IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Research has shown that spending less time in the office can reduce the use of energy (for example, electricity, gas). Thus some companies close for some days a week. Do this advantage of this development outhweight the disadvantage.

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Inspired by the realisation that energy consumption can be checked by reducing the time spent by
employees
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 in offices, many companies have adopted strategies like reducing the number of days in a month.
However
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, some people feel that
such
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 a plan can have a negative impact on the performance of businesses and the welfare of
employees
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.
Firstly
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, there would be a substantial reduction in expenses in terms of electricity consumption, water usage and fuel costs.
Moreover
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, with the reduced working
hours
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 and longer leisure time it is likely that the productivity of
employees
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 would improve, compensating for the
hours
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 lost.
For example
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, the number of days in a week has been reduced from six to five in many government posts in India.
While
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 it has substantially cut down costs in terms of lighting and running of job machinery, the work completed in a similar duration has not been seriously affected.
Similarly
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, the commuting of
employees
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 and movement of vehicles has been reduced, resulting in substantial fuel savings.
Secondly
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, critics believe that having 32
hours
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 of job
do
Change the verb form
does
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 affect output and reduce the earning capacity of
employees
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.
This
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 would mean that losing a considerable number of man-
hours
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 at the place would affect the performance of companies.
Moreover
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, the loss of wages
due to
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 fewer
hours
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 can discourage workers. After considering both views, from a broader perspective, the substantial energy
saving
Fix the agreement mistake
savings
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 achieved by modern companies should be given greater prominence.
Moreover
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, the drawbacks can be minimized by introducing alternative methods like telecommuting, where
employees
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 do not come to the office, but handle it from home using modern telecommunication systems. In short,
although
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 there are minor disadvantages to
this
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 system, shorter
hours
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 can have greater benefits to individuals and society by saving the depleting resources of the world.

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task achievement
Make sure that the essay maintains a clear position throughout the response.
coherence cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices effectively but try to ensure they do not become mechanical or forced.
task achievement
Support main points with fully developed arguments or explanations and relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Improve clarity by ensuring paragraphing is handled correctly with well-managed ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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