IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some cities have few controls over the design and construction of housing and office buidings. People think that they should be free to choose the design they live. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

#cities #controls #design #construction #office #buidings #people
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Development authorities in the cities do not allow its citizens to build houses or offices without taking a
permition
approval to do something
permission
 certificate from them. They check whether the
design
 is as per the safety standards drawn by them or not.
Therefore
, people are not allowed to construct their houses by free
will even
Accept comma addition
will, even
 if they want to.
This
 essay will discuss how
saftey
the state of being certain that adverse effects will not be caused by some agent under defined conditions
safety
 and rules are more important than the people's wish to
design
 houses by themselves.
First
 and foremost reason, why anyone should not be given a free hand in choosing and developing their house and office is that it can be dangerous not only for them but for the neighbourhood
also
. As, when one is willing to be an architect by themselves, they tend to ignore
saftey
the state of being certain that adverse effects will not be caused by some agent under defined conditions
safety
 norms very easily.
Thus
, it could result in living dangerously.
Only good thing
Suggestion
The only good thing
 here could be that they will be happy to
design
 it beautifully with no restrictions, but it
can not
can not
cannot
 be justified over
saftey
Suggestion
the safety
safety
 of others.
Furthermore
, a city
is not build
Suggestion
is not built
 only by
buildings but
Accept comma addition
buildings, but
 there are other basic
ameneties
things that make you comfortable and at ease
amenities
,
such
 as parks, public toilet
,
Accept space
,
 parking slots etc. , are required
too
in the direction of
to
.
Hence
, when government regulates the maps of buildings in an area, it keeps a check on the basic
ameneties
things that make you comfortable and at ease
amenities
 too.
For example
, if a builder is building an office area with no space for the parking slot to gain more profit from the available space
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 it will lead the city towards parking and traffic congestion problems in the future. In conclusion, one can do construction without the government permission to gain monetary benefits,
such
 as condominiums with no parking space for more money, or
design
 a very beautiful architecture with no safety norm, but the benefits of rules and regulations applied by
government
Suggestion
the government
clearly outweighs
Suggestion
clearly outweigh
 them because of the
saftey
the state of being certain that adverse effects will not be caused by some agent under defined conditions
safety
 of everyone around us.
Submitted by gakumarig on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: