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Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, there is an ongoing debate about whether
parents
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 or
schools
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 should take primary
responsibility
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 for teaching
children
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 how to become good members of
society
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. Advocates of the view that
parents
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 play the more important role argue that
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children’s
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 moral
values
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 are mainly formed at home,
whereas
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 others believe that
schools
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 are more effective in preparing young
people
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 for real social interaction. In my opinion, both families and
schools
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 are equally important because they contribute to
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children’s
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 social development in different and complementary ways. Advocates of the view that
parents
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 should take primary
responsibility
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 for
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children’s
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 social education argue that the family is where
children
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 first learn basic moral principles. During childhood, young
people
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 are highly influenced by the behaviour and attitudes of their
parents
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 and often imitate what they observe at home.
For example
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,
children
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 whose
parents
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 treat others politely, obey social rules, and show empathy towards vulnerable
people
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 are more likely to develop similar
values
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 themselves. Since
parents
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 interact with
children
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 on a daily basis and maintain close emotional relationships with them, they are usually able to shape
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children’s
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 personalities and behavioural habits more effectively than
schools
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.
Therefore
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, many
people
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 believe that
parents
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 provide the moral foundation necessary for
children
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 to become responsible citizens. From a different perspective,
however
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, some
people
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 argue that
schools
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 are more important because they offer
children
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 practical experience in functioning within a wider social environment. Unlike family settings,
schools
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 require students to interact with peers from different backgrounds, cooperate in group tasks, and follow collective rules.
For instance
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, through teamwork activities, classroom discussions, and school competitions, students gradually learn how to communicate effectively, resolve conflicts, and take
responsibility
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 for their actions. These experiences are difficult to gain solely within the home environment.
In addition
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, teachers are professionally trained to guide students’ behaviour and promote civic awareness.
As a result
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,
schools
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 play an essential role in preparing
children
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 for participation in
society
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. In my opinion, neither
parents
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 nor
schools
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 can fully replace the other because they perform different social functions in
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children’s
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 development.
Parents
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 mainly shape
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children’s
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 moral character and personal
values
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,
while
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schools
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 help them apply these
values
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 in real social situations. Without guidance from
parents
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,
children
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 may lack empathy and self-discipline;
however
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, without school experience, they may struggle to cooperate with others or adapt to wider
society
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.
Therefore
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, only the combined influence of both institutions can help
children
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 become balanced and socially responsible individuals. In conclusion,
although
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parents
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 are crucial in forming
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children’s
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 moral
values
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,
schools
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 are equally important in developing social skills and civic awareness. I
therefore
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 believe that both families and educational institutions should share
responsibility
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 for teaching
children
Use synonyms
 how to become good members of
society
Use synonyms
.

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task response
For task response, your answer is full and clear. To make it even better, add one more very clear real life example.
task response
For task response, your opinion is clear from start to end. Keep this strong line in all body parts.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow. To improve more, use a few shorter sentences so the reader can take ideas in more easily.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, linking words are used well. Be careful not to use too many formal links in every paragraph.
task response
Task response is strong because you discuss both sides and give your own opinion clearly.
task response
Task response is good because each main idea is explained with support and examples.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are strong because the essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Coherence and cohesion are good because each paragraph stays on one main idea and moves in a logical way.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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