Taking care of children is probably one of the most important jobs of society and parents should be forced to take training courses showing them how to do so. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#care #children #jobs #society #parents #courses

Taking care of children has been very important to the society. It is claimed that all mothers and fathers should be required to take the

childcare

training courses. In my perspective, I tend to disagree with

this

statement. There are certainly some reasons why all parents should be required to take the

childcare

training course. One of the reasons is that

this

kind of courses can give parents

comprehensive understanding

Suggestion

a comprehensive understanding

about children. Active

participation

Accept comma addition

participation, such

such

childcare

training courses

allows

Suggestion

allow

parents to understand the needs of children at different stages. With the knowledge of taking care of children

that is

learned from

childcare

training courses, parents are less likely to make mistakes.

However

, there are opposing voices as well.

To begin

with, children training courses

are

Suggestion

a waste of time. As living in

rapid advancement

Suggestion

the rapid advancement

of the technology in

this

society, parents are able to use

computers to access to

Suggestion

computers to access

the internet and obtain any information about how to take care of children. By simply typing keywords on Google or YouTube, everyone can easily get free tutorials and a variety of methods.

Consequently

, participating in

childcare

training courses generally wastes time and energy. Apart from

this

, the cost of

childcare

training courses is high. Not everyone is able to afford the services. Yet, hiring a babysitter is cheaper and has more benefits for new parents. As babysitters have wide range of knowledge and experiences of caring children

Accept space

parents

Accept comma addition

parents, therefore

therefore

can learn some major caring skills through the baby sitters at home

instead

of paying costly fees and going to

childcare

training courses for 3 weeks. In conclusion,

although

caring for children is the most vital matter in the society, it is not necessary for mothers and fathers

to take

Suggestion

take

childcare

training courses because everyone has their job tasks to do and hire a

baby sitter

a person engaged to care for children when the parents are not home

babysitter

can solve the issue.

Sun Jan 19 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Taking care of children is probably one of the most important jobs of society and parents should be forced to take training courses showing them how to do so. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some employers believe that job applicants' social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some students take a gap year after graduating high school to work and/or travel. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this.