Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #homes #members #blood #relatives

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In contemporary times, the number of elderly

people

Use synonyms

living in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

old age homes has increased massively. It has become often argued topic that aged

parents

Use synonyms

should live in

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

senior homes,

while

Linking Words

others support that families should take care of the old members. I agree with the statement that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elderly

people

Use synonyms

should reside with their blood relatives as

this

Linking Words

will provide mental and emotional support. The essay will discuss in more detail

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the advantages of elderly

people

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living with

children

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The main argument for senior

people

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living in an old age home is that they get impacted by loneliness and depression

while

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living with strangers.

This

Linking Words

is mainly because of the reason that they feel cherished and blissful when living with their loved ones. To state an example, studies have revealed that elderly

parents

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enjoy the company of their

children

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and grandchildren and show better medical progress when surrounded by family rather than in seclusion.

Furthermore

Linking Words

parents

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worked

for

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apply

show examples

their whole

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

and

had

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

raised their

children

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Therefore

Linking Words

its

Correct your spelling

it is

show examples

children

Use synonyms

’s duty to care for their elderly

parents

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, which can best given at home.

Although

Linking Words

old

people

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living in nursing homes

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

become a trend in many nations,

Linking Words

while

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

child support is more valuable to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

elderly

parents

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, the government in many countries provides pension schemes to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

senior citizens, which can help with medical or other expenses.

Therefore

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, older

people

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will not be financially dependent on their

children

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This

Linking Words

will resolve the concerns of the

people

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who think that they cannot bear the medical cost of their

parents

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Additionally

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, grandchildren will learn their traditions, rituals, ethics and morality from their grandparents.

To conclude

Linking Words

, placing older

people

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in senior houses has become a practice in some countries.

However

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this

Linking Words

trend is overpowered by the fact that the feeling and regard

which

Correct word choice

that

show examples

children

Use synonyms

can provide

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

more helpful to them in

this

Linking Words

age group.

Mon Jan 20 2020

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure that the introduction and conclusion clearly present your main argument and summarize the key points of your essay. Maintain a consistent logical structure throughout the essay.

Task Achievement

Your essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and provides relevant examples to support your argument. Ensure that your response is complete, clear, and comprehensive, addressing all aspects of the essay question in detail.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

319 words

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Some people believe that elderly parents ought to live at senior homes. Others believe that they should live with family members(blood relatives). Do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People now have the freedom to work and live anywhere in the world due to the development of communication technology and transportation. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

In recent years a large number of highly skilled professionals like doctors, engineers and IT professionals from poorer countries are migrating to developed countries for better-paying jobs. What are the possible problems of this and what solutions can you suggest to deal with this issue?

People today are more concerned with owning material possessions than with developing friendships and family relationships. To what extent do you agree with this statement?