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Writing Samples
Band 7

Living in an apartment instead of a university dormitory has advantages and disadvantages.

#apartment #university #dormitory
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It is thought by some people that living in
off-
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campus
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 housing comes with more benefits
instead
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 of residing in a student dormitory provided by universities.
This
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 essay will suggest that budget-friendly options and better access to local facilities and communities are the most appealing advantages of opting for an
off-
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campus
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 apartment, but there will
also
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 be some pronounced downsides. One evident benefit of living in a local-owned apartment is a wide range of alternatives for a reasonably-priced
room
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. College
students
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 frequently find on-
campus
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 accommodation is too expensive for a standard model and it requires them to tighten their monthly expenses just because of the rental fee,
while
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off-
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campus
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 accommodation can cost nearly two times cheaper.
For instance
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, a single
room
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 with a shared bathroom in a
campus
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 dormitory of an Indonesian university in East Java costs around 1,2 million rupiahs,
whereas
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 a single
room
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 outside the university offers a private bathroom at the same even cheaper price.
Additionally
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,
off-
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campus
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 flats are closer to local amenities
such
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 as convenience stores, restaurants, coffee shops, malls and parks. Despite the advantages,
students
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 opting to live in
off-
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campus
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 apartments are required to commute from and to the college. Commuting will take extra time and incur additional budget for transportation which at times can lead to
students
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 dropping off their punctuality
due to
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 oversleeping and waking up late.
Moreover
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, they may potentially experience
campus
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-life detachment
such
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 as lack of participation in college activities and organisations
due to
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 less proximity to the resources and opportunities.
For example
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, many on-
campus
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 communities and organisations announce their programmes earlier to
students
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 who live within
campus
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 proximity as it eases them to conduct meetings or discussions for
further
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 development of their plans.
To sum up
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, choosing an
off-
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campus
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 apartment can be beneficial for inexpensive
room
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 options or excellent access to amenities.
However
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, many
students
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 have
also
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 experienced the consequences of long commuting and lack of engagement with the
campus
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 environment as the downsides of living outside
campus
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.
Submitted by 2024successielts on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that all paragraphs are well-organized and effectively use a range of cohesive devices to tie ideas together within and across sentences. There should also be a clear progression of ideas from the introduction through to the conclusion.
task achievement
The response adequately addresses the task, providing a balanced consideration of both advantages and disadvantages. However, you could further clarify or deepen certain points, ensure that examples are fully elaborated, and that your position is clearly stated throughout.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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