The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that imposing harsher
punishments
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
is the most useful measure to enhance
road
safety
. I largely disagree with
this
view. It is quite understandable why people claim that more severely punishable actions should be taken by
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
to have better
road
safety
. The two most notable causes of fatal accidents
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
road
are that a large
amount
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number
show examples
of drivers are likely to be indeed addicted and exposed a lot to alcohol and in turn
Add a comma
,
show examples
be drunk when
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
commuting
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and driving above the speed limit, which is one of the most popular crimes
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
by people .
Therefore
, giving much stricter
punishments
such
as fining them much higher money or even custodial sentence can render them more careful and entail a falling mortality rate.
However
, I believe that education is by far the most effective
measures
Fix the agreement mistake
measure
show examples
so as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to improve
road
safety
. To the best of my knowledge, the odds of
commiting
Correct your spelling
committing
driving offences sometimes
hinges
Correct subject-verb agreement
hinge
show examples
on the attitude of drivers. The government and
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
should organise a
lager
Correct your spelling
larger
show examples
number of driving
lesson
Fix the agreement mistake
lessons
show examples
to educate them about the negative consequences of accidents on victims and themselves.
Comparing
Wrong verb form
Compared
show examples
to
punishments
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
increasing awareness is more practical and time and
money saving
Add a hyphen
money-saving
show examples
. To illustrate, if students are taught about attention when driving in the early days, the latter will become the inherent instinct of their life and prevent them from a lot of misdeeds. In conclusion, my
convinction
Correct your spelling
conviction
is that
punishments
are important but education is the better solution to tackle
road
safety
problems.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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