The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, science has shown some significant improvements that benefit people's quality of life, including expanding their life span.

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essay will examine why I agree with

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statement. To begin with, one of the inventions that should not be taken as granted is the discovery of medication,

for example

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, the COVID-19 vaccine. It is known that when the pandemic hit us globally, people suffered so much from having various symptoms.

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situation was quite worrying since the hospitals were not big enough to serve the overloaded patients.

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, there was a lack number of medical workers,

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as doctors and nurses. Fortunately, about one year after battling with the pandemic, the vaccine eventually emerged

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there were a lot of victims that had fallen.

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, people were still very grateful for the invention of the COVID-19 vaccine because it lighted up their hopes.

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, science aims to broaden people’s knowledge to be aware of the environment. Many nations in

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world do not have a good geography. Africa and some parts of Asia have severe drought, and most of them cannot produce their own food because of the bad soil.

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, scientists discovered how to make some vegetation suitable for

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condition, and they did it.

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, In Indonesia, there is a place with poor land conditions, but with some experiments on vegetation, nowadays, they have poor land conditions, but with some experiments on greens, nowadays, they are able to grow some plants that suit poor soil.

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helps society to improve their lives by growing their own food.

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, the goal of science is helpful for the community.

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, we already

saw

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seen

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many positive impacts, and we are waiting for more discoveries to make our lives better.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Sat May 11 2024

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Task Achievement

The essay provides clear and comprehensive ideas supported by relevant examples, such as the COVID-19 vaccine and agricultural advances in poor soil conditions, demonstrating an effective task response. Consider further refining your argument to enhance clarity.

Coherence and Cohesion

To improve coherence and cohesion, aim for smoother transitions between paragraphs and ensure consistency in tense usage. Additionally, addressing counterarguments could strengthen your essay's structure.

Language Accuracy

Revisit your essay to correct duplicate phrases and minor grammatical errors. Such revisions will not significantly impact your score but will polish your presentation.

Content and Examples

Effective use of examples, like the COVID-19 vaccine and agricultural advances, to support your arguments.

Structure

Introduction and conclusion clearly bookend the essay, effectively summarizing your stance and reinforcing your argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

294 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

crucial role
technological advancements
medical discoveries
life-changing inventions
innovations
solutions to human problems
enhancing quality of life
improvement of healthcare
transportation
communication
agriculture
energy sectors
eradication of diseases
prolongation of life expectancy
global challenges
climate change
overpopulation
food security
developed world
underprivileged communities

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The most important aim of science ought to be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people think young people should be free to choose his or her job, but other people think they should be realistic and think more about their future. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to thei main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

some people think that success in life comes from hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Maintaining public libraries is a waste of money since computer technology can replace their functions.Do you agree or disagree

More and more people want to own items, such as cars, clothing and other things, that are made by famous brands. What are the reasons for this?Do you think it is a positive or negative development?