More & more fathers are taking a break from their careers so that they can stay home & take care of their children while wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#fathers #break #careers #home #care #children #wives #work #parents #time

Many fathers are taking leave from a

job

& mothers are working.

Therefore

, fathers might stay in

house

Suggestion

the house

to take care of their children as well as

house

Suggestion

houses

the house

Also

, it might be good for their family rather

then

conjunction used in comparatives

than

working

both

of them

whole day

Suggestion

the whole day

. It is true that, one parent should stay

Suggestion

home to look after their children & house.

This

essay don't agree the statement made about parent should not

work

& leave a

job

for children.

This

essay will discuss about why fathers should not give up his

job

& parents should

work

as a full time

job

to more earn

Suggestion

to earn more

income.

Firstly

, fathers giving up his career might be unhappy

Suggestion

with

his decision. He might

missing

Suggestion

miss

his tough & challenging

job

which he has sacrificed for his children.

Moreover

, children are whole day in school, might be he

get

Suggestion

got

boredom.

For instance

, my cousin brother who left his

job

for his children & all the time he is resident

Suggestion

home

Suggestion

the home

. In

exchange he

Accept comma addition

exchange, he

does household

work

such

as mopping floors, cooking & feeding to his children.

In addition

, if fathers &

mothers

Accept comma addition

mothers, both

both

are not working they

give

Suggestion

gave

up their salaries. In fact, if parents are working they have

better lifestyle

Suggestion

a better lifestyle

than a single working parent. Nowadays, the situation is that,

both

the parents should

work

this

expensive world.

In contrast

, if single working mothers can not earn enough money,

then

they have a changing living method.

For example

, according to the survey of Business Times in 2017, usually

both

the parents are working whole day in metro cities. So that they can have a healthy &

wealthy living style

Suggestion

a wealthy living style

which will be good for their children future & family. To conclude, that parents should have a

job

for well-being of children career & family. Parents can spend time of togetherness with kids during a family trip or holiday &

Suggestion

evening.

Mon Jan 20 2020

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Your opinion

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

317 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More & more fathers are taking a break from their careers so that they can stay home & take care of their children while wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Art classes, such as painting and drawing, are as important to a child’s development as other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that human needs for farmland, housing, and industry are more important than saving land for endangered animals. Do you agree or disagree with this point of view?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The plans below show the layout of a university's sports centre now, and how it will look after redevelopment. Summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some People believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should Ье required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should Ье free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.