More & more fathers are taking a break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#fathers #break #careers #home #care #children #wives #work #parents #time

Many fathers are taking leave from a

job

& mothers are working.

Therefore

, fathers can stay

Suggestion

home

to take care of their children as well as

house

Suggestion

houses

the house

Also

, it might be good for their family rather than working

both

of them

whole

Suggestion

the whole day

day

. It is true that, parent should stay

Suggestion

home

to look after their children.

This

essay

don't agree

Suggestion

doesn't agree

to the statement that fathers should give up his

job

Thus

Suggestion

This

essay will discuss about why fathers should not give up his

job

both

parents should work to earn more income.

Firstly

, fathers giving up his career might be unhappy

Suggestion

with

his decision. He might

missing

Suggestion

miss

his tough & challenging

job

which he has sacrificed for his children.

Moreover

, children are not usually

Suggestion

home

as they are whole

day

in school. Fathers might get boredom by doing

households

Suggestion

household

works.

For instance

, my cousin brother who left his

job

for his children & entire

day

awaiting at

home

. In

exchange he

Accept comma addition

exchange, he

does households works

such

as mopping floors, cooking & feeding to his children.

In addition

, fathers &

mothers

Accept comma addition

mothers, both

both

are working for their children to earn more salaries. In fact, if parents are working they have

better lifestyle

Suggestion

a better lifestyle

than

single working parent

Suggestion

a single working parent

Futhermore

in addition

Furthermore

, the situation is that

both

the parents should work in

this

expensive world to have a desired lifestyle. The condition might be if

single parent

Suggestion

a single parent

is working, she is not earning enough money due which has

impact

Suggestion

an impact

on living style.

For example

, according to the survey of Business Times in 2017,

both

the parents are working whole

day

to have a standard of living as well as for

children future

Suggestion

the child's future

child's future

children's future

. To conclude, parents should have a

job

for well-being of children career & family. Parents can spend time of togetherness with their kids during holidays or

Suggestion

a family trip or

Suggestion

evening.

Submitted by harshaliwadekar98 on Mon Jan 20 2020

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Your opinion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

310 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More & more fathers are taking a break from their careers so that they can stay home and take care of their children while their wives work. This is better for the family than having both parents work full time. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Your opinion

Many people think that museums and galleries should only show work from local artists rather than work from other countries. Do you agree?

“Modern forms of communication such as email and messaging have reduced the amount of time people spend seeing their friends. This has a negative effect on their social lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?”

Nowadays because of digital technology, it is possible for not only studios but also individuals to produce their own films. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some feel that governments should prioritize healthcare instead of other important areas. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think computers and the Internet are more important in child’s education. Others believe that schools and teachers are essential for children to learn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.