IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people believe that it is better to learn something new in a group than individually. Do you agree or disagree

#people #group
Undoubtedly, a
group
 of individuals deemed that it is effective to learn something new in a squad,
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
 think that learning alone is more beneficial. I completely agree towards the first statement owing to some reasons which I will hash out in the
further
 paragraphs.
Firstly
, there are a number of advantages to learning in a
group
, but the main one is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 within a
gathering
Add a comma
gathering,
show examples
 members can encourage each other in a difficult
task
.
For instance
, if one does not understand things others can explain to them more patiently by giving personal examples.
Thus
, they will be able to pursue the
task
 confidently. To cite an example, when I was in 6th grade, the teacher of mathematics gave us a
task
 to solve, but it was not a piece of cake to solve it individually. So, she made a
group
 of three students and afterwards, we got a correct answer
while
 solving a
task
 in a gathering.
Secondly
, a squad can tackle more complex problems than they could on their own. To illustrate it more, everyone has different abilities to think and solve
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
 with
this
 they can solve more complex projects easily.
Moreover
,
while
 studying in a
group
 pupils will
also
 boost their confidence
as well as
 improve their communication skills because
while
 talking to each other in a gathering they will not become shy and can speak in front of the whole.
Furthermore
, in a
group
 folks understand better in the
group
 and
this
also
 encourages a perfect study environment. In conclusion,
although
 the masses think it is better to learn individually, if they study in a
group
 they could improve their skills, boost their confidence
as well as
 learn different methods to tackle problems by learning from each other.
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coherence cohesion
The essay contains a discernible progression of ideas but occasionally lacks precision in expressing those ideas, which slightly hampers clear understanding.
coherence cohesion
You should make an effort to provide more focused explanations and developed ideas rather than simply listing benefits. Specific examples are good but must be clearly linked and relevant to the main idea being discussed.
task achievement
The response adequately addresses all parts of the task, and a position is presented, but it might benefit from further development in terms of detailed supporting arguments.
task achievement
While you provide relevant examples, it's important to ensure that they are fully expanded upon and not just presented superficially. More developed examples that relate directly to the argument will strengthen your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • collaborative environment
  • discussion
  • debate
  • exchange of ideas
  • critical soft skills
  • communication
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • emotional and motivational support
  • isolating
  • personalized pace
  • efficient learning
  • self-discipline
  • accountability
  • educational progress
  • distractions
  • group dynamics
  • commitment
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