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Band 2.5

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

#government #investment #arts #music #theatre #waste #money #governments #services
​It is a common belief that governing bodies of a state or a nation should spend their money on refining public services
such
 as roads, h
ealthcare
Suggestion
health care
c
enters
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
and other utilities. w
hereas
Suggestion
Whereas
investing in entertainment facilities
such
 as auditoriums, cultural c
enters
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centre
centres
is a waste of money. In my o
pinion both
Accept comma addition
opinion, both
should get some portion of the cash in hand with major portion spent on public services.
First
 of all, improving the public service utilities would make their use more convenient for the general public. Good transport system and roads would mean that people would easily be able to get from one place to the other.
Also
 upgraded health c
enters
an area that is approximately central within some larger region
centres
and medical facilities would mean better treatment of the residents.
On the other hand
, funding art and t
heater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
would make people take more interest in a
rts.
Suggestion
the arts
Also
, it’ll provide opportunities to the people who genuinely make their living out of arts and t
heater.
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
Furthermore
, it can
also
 be great for community building when people will come together to enjoy these shows and exhibitions, and it can
also
 generate s
ignificant amount
Suggestion
a significant amount
of revenue for the government. To sum up,
although
 it can be tough for the governing bodies who are already tight on budget to spend a sum on arts and t
heater
a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented
theatre
facilities, due consideration should be made about these facilities. And at the same time not neglecting the public service utilities.
Submitted by siminiuclucian on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural enrichment
  • expression of creativity
  • promote diversity
  • enhance social cohesion
  • boost tourism
  • job creation
  • stimulate economic growth
  • improve quality of life
  • essential services
  • maintenance and development
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