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Band 4

Some people believed that entertainers are more important than scientists. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #entertainers #scientists
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Entertainers and scientists, both have your importance. Artists have had influence on
people
Suggestion
peoples'
peoples
lifes
a characteristic state or mode of living
lives
life's
 through distraction and fun
such
Linking Words
 a
movies
Suggestion
movie
snd
in order to; used instead of "to", especially after try, come, go
and
 songs. But, in my opinion, without a doubt, scientists are more relevant than, because their discoveries impact directly
in
Suggestion
on
 our
lifes
a characteristic state or mode of living
lives
, from the morning to the night, from what to eat to how to
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. The people who work in
entertainment end making
Suggestion
the entertainment end, making
the entertainment end making
 influence in our lives over their images and even
life style
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyle
. Some public who
follow
Suggestion
follows
 up celebrities usually mimic them using seems
clouths
clothing in general
clothes
, hair style, and having similar attitude. Sometimes these famous people can change the mindset of their fans. I do not see
this
Linking Words
 as
good
Suggestion
well
. In the other hand, scientists have strong and crucial influence on our day-by-day, even we do not realize
this
Linking Words
. We are surrounded by discoveries' science. When we get up and look
at around
Accept comma addition
at, around
, we can see our home
in
Suggestion
at
first
Linking Words
 which was
builded
(used of soaps or cleaning agents) having a substance (an abrasive or filler) added to increase effectiveness
built
 based on
engeniering's
Suggestion
engineering
engineerings
 studies. We go have the
brakfast
the first meal of the day (usually in the morning)
breakfast
, what is it there? Science! Where? Coffee maker,
for instance
Linking Words
, or how some food
were industrialy processed
Suggestion
was industrially processed
were industrially processed
. If you have a job
enterview
conduct an interview in television, newspaper, and radio reporting
interview
, you know how to behave in order to get
sucsess
an event that accomplishes its intended purpose
success
, because many studies show the best way. To conclude, so far scientists are more important than entertainers, as their finds are closer us every day, every time, it
is only look
Suggestion
only looks
is only looking
 around and you could see
easely
with ease ('easy' is sometimes used informally for 'easily')
easily
 how much the scientists have had influenced from simple to complex things in our lives.
Submitted by jumaraa.lua on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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