IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

is it good that we search for new source of fossil fuels?

#search #source #fuels
Need for fossil fuels is mounting and limitation in
amount
Suggestion
the amount
 of our
energy
 resources
,
Accept space
,
 made us to excavate in intact areas
such
 as poles and oceans. In my view, we should not dig our globe remote areas to address our perpetual need for
energy
. It is obvious that any transition in our
source
 of
energy
require
Suggestion
requires
 a lot of expenditures and often less advantage countries cannot be faced with
this
 astronomical
prices
Suggestion
price
.
Moreover
, sometimes developing nations are not capable to shift towards new sources of
energy
 due to technological obstacles
.
Accept space
.
But often the cost of seeking for new
source
 of fossil fuels
is much more lessen
Suggestion
is much more lessening
has much more lessened
is much more lessened
much more lessens
 than replacing all
energy
consumer
Suggestion
consuming
 things
such
 as cars
,
Accept space
,
 industries etc.
especially
Suggestion
Especially
 in short term. And
finally
 some countries prefer to use their
existence
Suggestion
existing
 sources till they achieve advanced technology to can be replaced the old one.
On the other hand
, fossil fuels
are not lasting
Suggestion
don't last
do not last
have not lasted
 forever and are limited, so
definitely they are going
Suggestion
they are definitely going
 to be finished within
next decades
Suggestion
the next decades
.
Accept space
.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 it is intellectual opt that we consider on new, green and renewable
source
 of
energy
instead
 of devastating our globe intact places
such
 as poles for seeking fossil fuels.
Moreover these
Accept comma addition
Moreover, these
 kind of
energy
 are so pollutant and have been ruined our environment and even lead to increase some dangerous disease
such
 as skin and lung cancer.
Furthermore in
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, in
long
Suggestion
the long
-
run the
Accept comma addition
run, the
 cost of
green and renewable
Suggestion
the green and renewable source
source
 of
energy
 will be
lessen
Suggestion
lessened
 in comparison to the current sources. And developed countries which
are leading
Suggestion
are led
 in
this
 way should be considered as shining role models for other societies. In
conclusion I
Accept comma addition
conclusion, I
 reaffirm my position that we must not devastated our environment for new
source
 of fossil fuels and we have to replace it with green and renewable sources.
Submitted by ali15243 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: