Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion?

#money #time

Many believed that, being economically powerful is much more important than having much more leisure time. In my opinion,

this

view does not make any sense, because I think spare time is much more important. There are both different views about

this

topic, and

this

essay will discuss these two ideas.

Firstly

, we will review the

first

idea. Some think that, cash is the most crucial thing in life.

Moreover

, it's frequently think that the meaning of the life is to earn money and create efficient an useful

projects

Suggestion

project

. One clear example is the healthcare expenditures. Surgery costs might be expensive and you have to pay it.

This

means you have to earn money to keep alive or to not suffer from illness.

However

, being sick is maybe an effect of working a lot (for earning money). If you work too much, you might be ill, because you might run out of energy or sleep.

On the other hand

, some disagreed that

this

view. They are not accepting

this

topic because they think having much more leisure time allows you to improve yourself on several things like playing guitar, playing with piano, reading or drawing. Self improvement is much more crucial than earning more cash. The main reason is obviously

stress

Suggestion

stressed

. Working cause stress and being mentally broken, affects your lifestyle and your happiness. To illustrate that, working too much could end your hobbies and interests, and these hobbies are the most important thing for your psychology and mind health. Hobbies make you happy and happiness helps your mind to fight against stress. To summarize, having a spectacular economical statue is not

important

Suggestion

more important

than being happy and being poorer. I agreed that, hobbies and interests are definitely crucial for our health,

hence

, I support that being not a wealthy person with full of happiness is extremely better.

Submitted by umutcerin on Tue Jan 21 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.5

Complete response

4.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
facilitating
lifestyle
professional development
increased stress
work-life balance
hobbies
quality time
physical and mental health
financial constraints
luxury items
overall well-being
personal growth
middle ground
sacrificing

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Having more money and less free time is better than earning less money and having more free time. Discuss both views and state your opinion?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The best way to teach children to cooperate is through team sports at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems

Some people prefer to stay in the same job for same company, but other prefer to change job frequently.You should use specific reason to compare the advantages and disadvantages of both sides.

When you buy something online do you ask your friends or check online reviews first?

the rise of the social media has a affected personal relationships and society as a whole. do the advantages of using social media for communicatton outweigh the disadvantages?