IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some say that rich countries should help poor countries with food and education. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include examples from your experience.

#say #countries #food #education
In the recent centuries, it has been an obvious gap between all the countries over the
world
 due to technological advancement.
Therefore
, I agree that it is important for rich countries to assist poor ones in
education
 and supply them with needed food. The reason why some countries are richer than others is the advanced technology which makes these countries have huge industries.
On the other hand
, the poor countries lose the scientific and research principles which lead to progress.
For example
, one of the African poor countries is Somalia, where you hardly find life essentials,
besides
, there is no
education
 at all, while other countries are very advanced and have not only all forms of life requirement, but
also
 entertainment
such
 as The United States. I believe that if
this
 rich part of the
world
 helps the poor part, all of
world
 problems will be solved immediately.
Moreover
, enabled countries can improve the poor countries' status by two methods.
Firstly
, they can provide them with fundamental crops
such
 as rice and corn.
Secondly
, they can help improving the
education
 by establishing schools in different areas in the needed countries, and
this
 could be a kind of increasing the investment benefits.
Thirdly
, countries can encourage young people from poor countries
to
to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits
too
continue
Suggestion
Continue
 their
education
 abroad and fund them. For instant, Turkish government gives full funded scholarships for Syrians who were harmed in the war.
Finally
, At the prospective of the
world
 peace, all these forms of assistant can help achieving the patriotic relationships among countries and relieving tensions. In conclusion, it should be struggles to achieve worldwide justice through helping poor countries.
Although
 it is difficult to regularly provide them with food and
education
, some trials will inspire other countries to participate and may foster competitions to assist.
Submitted by roaa.elmasry2017 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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