IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people think that successful people’s accomplishments depend on the regions they come from, while other people think that it doesn’t matter where a person comes from, if that person has the will to succeed, he/she will triumph

6.0 / 9
Band scoreView breakdown ↓
✍️ Want to check your own essay?Write on this topic →
Introduction
The significance of the
region
Use synonyms
 one comes from, in the achievements of people has been a moot point, with a large number of people believing that regional background is a determiner of victory, while others differ. It is evident that there is some truth in both arguments.
Body paragraph 1
To commence with, a person’s
region
Use synonyms
 of origin certainly confers some inherent advantages,
such
Linking Words
 as physique, strength and attitude in general. The very fact of living in a
region
Use synonyms
, orients and instils one with the prevailing energy, drive and
preference
Suggestion
a preference
 for a type of profession or goal.
For instance
Linking Words
, Usain Bolt, the fastest runner is from Jamaica and in the past century, Jamaica won 42 Commonwealth Golds and 14 World Championship Golds amongst others. Apart from
this
Linking Words
, children there start athletics at a very young age.
Body paragraph 2
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, winners spring up from all geographical locations in the world. It is the will alone that imparts the vision, commitment and capacity to work hard
to
Suggestion
for
 people, which propels them to
achievements
Suggestion
achieve
. The world has witnessed victorious people, even from remote places, the interiors and hinterlands of different nations.
For example
Linking Words
, the present Honourable President of India, Mr. Ram Nath Kovind, hails from a small village in the state of Uttar Pradesh.
Body paragraph 3
Additionally
Linking Words
, in
this
Linking Words
 age of globalisation and technology, where the world is transforming into a global village, to the willing, obtaining the best and requisite rigorous training in a certain sport, education or industry is quite feasible. Online mentoring and coaching on an array of subjects are readily available on YouTube and other portals.
Conclusion
To conclude, contrary to what many people think, according to me, the idea of the
region
Use synonyms
 of origin, as a determining factor in successful people’s
achievements
Suggestion
achieving
, is redundant.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the will of a person is paramount in driving a seeker of glory to triumph.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: