IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Excessive traffic has made cities unpleasant places to live and work in. For this reason, private cars should be completely banned from city centers. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Traffic is becoming worse every day and nothing is being done to improve the situation. It's making life in cities unbearable with citizens feeling like they are trapped and suffering from all the noise and the exhaust. But, is banning cars completely from the city centre the solution?
While
Linking Words
 it seems like a radical solution that many may resist, it could actually help. There's no denying that some
people
Use synonyms
 will be affected in the process,
for instance
Linking Words
, some businesses might make losses as
people
Use synonyms
 would be less inclined to visit if cars were banned. Some of the car owners may feel like
this
Linking Words
 is
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discrimination against them,
while
Linking Words
 others would think that it would make matters more difficult.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is for the greater good. Think of it, fewer vehicles on the streets definitely make life better. All the time that could be saved, all the health benefits, it's got to be worth the cost. Prohibiting cars would help reduce the emission of exhaust which means a cleaner environment and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better health.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 will force
people
Use synonyms
 to move around more which can partially help with the problem of obesity,
not to mention
Linking Words
 that the cities would be quitter giving
people
Use synonyms
 a chance to relax and enjoy their surroundings. Now, wouldn't that be great
!
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
 In conclusion, the traffic problem has developed into a drastic situation that must be dealt with, and there's no easy way around it. Sacrifices must be made in order to have a chance for a better life and it is these sacrifices that we count on.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Strengthen the introduction by clearly outlining your position on the topic and hinting at the main points you will discuss in the body paragraphs.
task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your arguments, such as instances from cities that have implemented car bans or studies showcasing the benefits of reduced traffic.
coherence and cohesion
Use transition phrases to improve the flow between your ideas, enhancing the logical progression of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that all points discussed directly relate back to the central question of whether banning cars is a solution.
task achievement
The essay has a clear opinion on the topic, which is essential for task achievement.
task achievement
The discussion of both benefits and drawbacks of banning cars shows an understanding of the complexity of the issue, which is commendable.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Emissions
  • Air pollution
  • Global warming
  • Noise pollution
  • Pedestrian-friendly
  • Public transportation
  • Green spaces
  • Urban residents
  • Enforcing the ban
  • Exceptions
  • Mental well-being
  • Healthier lifestyles
  • Local businesses
  • Tourism
  • Offset the need
What to do next:
Look at other essays: