IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion

#people #money #species #waste
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Since the beginning of the 21st century, a lot of animals are exposed to inaction. Some people believe that more
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent to protect the endangered
species
Use synonyms
 from
extinction
Use synonyms
, while others argue that there are other issues more important than these animals, and the
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on them,
such
Linking Words
 as helping people who are suffering from wars.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the reason why
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on these endangered
Use synonyms
species regardless
Accept comma addition
species, regardless
 of the importance of other issues.
Money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on endangered
species
Use synonyms
 because these animals are very important to balance the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
. The damage of the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
 will affect significantly
meansnslives
Suggestion
 in the future. Recent research, which was conducted at the Washington University, has shown that killing the endangered
species
Use synonyms
 will cause the disappearing of humans' lives in the near future, and it recommends to fund the projects which are responsible for protecting these
species
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it seems clear that
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on protecting endangered
species
Use synonyms
 to maintain the balance in the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some people think that
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent on other issues,
such
Linking Words
 as helping people who are suffering from wars. Some people do not have anything to eat, and these people have the priority than the endangered
species
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, more than one million people die every year because of wars. But, these people are unaware of the fact that the
extinction
Use synonyms
 of endangered
species
Use synonyms
 could affect our world
also
Linking Words
, and its impacts are greater than wars.
Thus
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
 should be spent to help endangered
species
Use synonyms
 from
extinction
Use synonyms
 regardless of the impacts of wars. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay discussed the reason why
money
Use synonyms
 should be paid to the organizations that follow endangered
species
Use synonyms
 since it is important to balance the
ecosystem
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, I believe that endangered animals should be protected from
extinction
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by vyasfalguni1973 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: