The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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Introduction
There is an increasingly widespread conviction that the working week should be shortened and employees should enjoy longer weekends. I largely agree with
this
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view, as adequate rest is essential for both individual well-being and societal productivity.
Body paragraph 1
Shorter working hours offer several significant benefits.
First,
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extended weekends would allow workers to pursue personal interests, exercise regularly, and obtain sufficient rest—all crucial for maintaining mental health. Research has demonstrated that employees perform significantly better when well-rested; in fact, productivity can increase by up to 20% following adequate recovery time.
Moreover
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, as mental health disorders
such
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as anxiety and depression become increasingly prevalent, addressing burnout through structural change is imperative. Providing more leisure time allows individuals to decompress after intense work periods, thereby improving both personal well-being and reducing strain on healthcare systems
addressing
Punctuation problem
, addressing
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mental illness.
Body paragraph 2
Admittedly, reducing working hours presents genuine challenges for businesses.
For instance
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, restaurants may struggle to maintain adequate staffing levels across all operating hours, and companies might face difficulties accessing critical data or files during periods of reduced operation.
However
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, these obstacles are not insurmountable. Emerging technologies
such
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as artificial intelligence and automation can partially offset labour shortages,
while
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the widespread adoption of remote-work arrangements—now common in many organisations—offers flexibility that addresses both operational and employee needs.
Such
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hybrid models could serve as an interim solution
while
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companies adapt to longer employee breaks.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
while
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implementing shorter working weeks would require significant organisational adjustment, the benefits to employee health and societal well-being outweigh the challenges. Companies should adopt
this
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change gradually, leveraging technological solutions and flexible working arrangements to facilitate the transition.

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task response
Your view is clear: you mostly agree. To make it even stronger, say more clearly why you do not fully agree, such as which kinds of work may still need longer hours.
task response
Your main ideas are well explained. Add one more real and clear example, for example a four-day week in an office or a hospital, to make the points feel more true and less general.
task response
Be careful with the claim that work output can rise by 20%. If you do not name the study or give proof, use softer words such as “may rise” or “can often rise”.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear start, two main parts, and a clear end. Each paragraph has one main job, so the reader can follow your view easily.
coherence and cohesion
The links between ideas are good. You could use a few simpler links at times, such as “Also”, “But”, and “For this reason”, so the writing feels more natural.
coherence and cohesion
The second main paragraph moves from problems to answers well. Still, the point about access to data or files is not fully clear; explain why fewer work days would stop access, or remove this point.
task response
You answer the full question and keep a clear view from the first line to the end.
task response
You give useful reasons about rest, mental health, work output, and the needs of companies.
coherence and cohesion
Your opening and ending match well, and the ending brings back your main view.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “First”, “Moreover”, “However”, and “In conclusion” help guide the reader through the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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