Health services are a basic necessity. However, private companies have made them quite costly for ordinary individuals. Do the advantages of private health care outweigh its disadvantages?

#health #services #necessity #companies #individuals #care

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Since healthcare is considered a basic need, some people opt to attend

their

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to their

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medical needs in

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

private

health

Use synonyms

companies which require too much funds. I believe that it provides more positive

result

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results

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than its drawbacks. On the one hand, one of the negative issues about privately-owned

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centers

Change the spelling

centres

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its

Correct pronoun usage

their

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expensiveness

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expense

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Therefore

Linking Words

patients

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are required to pay more compared to public hospitals.

For instance

Linking Words

, the time when I had my blood test checked, I tried having it done in a public

health

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institution,

however

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, the amount I

payed

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paid

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was lesser than that of a private clinic. So, when getting your

health

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monitored in a private medical building, it is expected to prepare additional money.

On the contrary

Linking Words

, private

health

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centers

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centres

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have more advanced machines and technologies, since it is privately funded,

patients

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are able to access

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apply

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a newly purchased machines

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a newly purchased machine

newly purchased machines

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used for medical purposes.

Moreover

Linking Words

, these

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centers

Change the spelling

centres

show examples

do not need to get

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apply

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approval from

public

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the public

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in order to acquire

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

diagnostic machines.

For instance

Linking Words

the

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in the

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new version of CT Scan, in the Philippines most of the time, it is the private hospitals that can have

these kind

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this kind

these kinds

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at first.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is more advantageous to have your body

health

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checked in private clinics.

Linking Words

Additionally

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Additionally,

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this

Linking Words

type of

companies

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company

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provide

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provides

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equal and appropriate services. Unlike in

the

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apply

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public medical

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centers

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centres

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where

patients

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are usually disregarded, they provide attention and care quickly.

For example

Linking Words

the

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in the

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healthcare system in the Philippines, most of the government hospitals require each

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patients

Change to a singular noun

patient

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to wait for a long time because of staff insufficiency.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, some of the admitted

patients

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that

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who

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need quick assistance

needs

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need

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to stand still and wait for the medical staff who's attending

another

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to another

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patient's concern.

Thus

Linking Words

, the patient-medical staff ratio in a private

health

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center

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centre

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is reasonable. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

private

health

Use synonyms

sectors give costly medical tests and measures, I believe that there are more benefits in choosing these

health

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institutions

becuase

Correct your spelling

because

aside from its new technologies,

patients

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can

also

Linking Words

receive

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

excellent healthcare services.

Submitted by cng123 on Tue Nov 12 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that each argument is clearly developed and supported with detailed explanations or examples.

language use

Improve grammatical accuracy and try to vary sentence structures to enhance readability.

coherence and cohesion

Work on linking ideas more smoothly to create a better flow throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

Good structure with a clear introduction and conclusion, each paragraph addresses a separate idea.

task achievement

The essay stays focused on the topic and presents relevant specific examples to support the points.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

333 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

basic necessity
private companies
costly
ordinary individuals
specialized services
resource constraints
advanced facilities
state-of-the-art technology
health outcomes
alleviate pressure
wait times
innovation
competitive advantages
invest
new technologies
treatments
inequality
access to services
afford
financial strain
medical bankruptcy
sufficient insurance
well-resourced
predominance
neglect
universal healthcare goals

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