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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people think that happiness relies on the responsibility of individuals, others think that it is affected by other factors. Discuss both views and state your opinion by using examples from your personal experience.

#people #happiness #responsibility #individuals #factors
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For some people
happiness
 is nothing but a
state
 of
mind
 and a
person
 is individually responsible for it;
however
, for many others
happiness
 depends upon external factors. In my opinion, external factors play a huge role in making a
person
 happy. Both the viewpoints are elaborated in the essay.
Happiness
 is considered to be the sole responsibility of an individual
by
Suggestion
with
 many.
This
 is because, people have the perception that
happiness
 depends on a
person
’s
state
 of
mind
 and heart and every
person
 must have the ability to take control of one’s emotions.
Moreover
, many self help books, yoga and meditation institutes preach how to take control of your
state
 of
mind
 to maintain good mental health and peace.
Happiness
 for them is all about inner satisfaction and through practices like meditation and yoga it can be achieved.
Conversely
, many individuals consider external factors extremely crucial for their bliss.
That is
 to say, every
person
 has some expectations or dreams that they want to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
, be it a good job, living with family, a house or a big car. People often feel satisfied after achieving something big or fulfilling one or the other dream and
this
further
 brings a feeling of bliss in them.
Furthermore
, researches and surveys have proved that even weather
also
 has a huge impact on people’s
state
 of
mind
.
For example
, according to the research conducted by the Times of India, Pune was on top of the list of the happiest cities of India due to its pleasant weather. In conclusion,
although
 many people think that
happiness
 can be solely achieved without considering other factors, it cannot be denied that a
person
 cannot be happy if externally everything is going against his expectations.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • individual responsibility
  • personal mindset
  • proactive steps
  • self-improvement
  • socio-economic status
  • relationships
  • environmental conditions
  • external factors
  • positive attitude
  • pursuit of happiness
  • facilitate
  • hamper
  • proactive engagement
  • sense of achievement
  • conducive environment
What to do next:
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