IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

As major cities around the world are growing, so are their problems. What are these problems for young people living in cities? What are possible solutions for these problems

Nowadays, major
cities
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 around the globe are expanding rapidly, and
this
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 growth brings both opportunities and challenges. Among the most affected are young
people
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, who face unique difficulties in urban environments.
This
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 essay will discuss some of the main
problems
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 they encounter and suggest possible solutions. One of the biggest
problems
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 for young
people
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 in
cities
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 is the high cost of living. Housing, education, and daily expenses are often unaffordable for students or those at the beginning of their careers.
As a result
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, many young individuals are forced to live in poor conditions or work long hours, which can negatively affect their studies or social life. Another significant issue is the lack of green spaces and safe recreational areas. Because of overpopulation and heavy traffic, young
people
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 often have limited access to healthy outdoor activities, which can harm both their physical and mental well-being. To address these
problems
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, governments and city planners should implement several measures.
Firstly
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, authorities could provide affordable housing schemes and financial support for students and young workers, helping them cope with the cost of living.
Secondly
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, investment in public infrastructure is crucial. Creating more parks, sports facilities, and community centres would encourage healthier lifestyles and reduce stress.
Finally
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, public transportation should be improved and made more affordable so that young
people
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 can easily access educational institutions, workplaces, and leisure areas without being burdened by heavy expenses. In conclusion, young
people
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 in large
cities
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dtumble
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stumble
 upon challenges
such
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 as high living costs, limited recreational spaces, and stress caused by urban life,yet with careful planning and government support, these
problems
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 can be
minimized
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minimised
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, making
cities
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 more
liveable
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livable
show examples
.

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improvement
Plan before you write. Put ideas in a clear order: problem, cause, fix.
error-correction
Check for small mistakes and spelling. Fix 'dtumble' to 'stumble' and 'liveable' if you want.
coherence
Use short and simple link words to show how ideas go together, like 'and', 'but', 'also'.
content
Clear idea of cost problems and lack of space, with a plan to fix.
structure
Good use of linking phrases to show order.
content
Essay talks about both problems and ways to fix them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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