Companies spend millions each year on advertising online, in magazines and billboards.These adverts can encourage people to buy products that they do not really need? What are the positive and negative effects of consumerism?

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To make business more productive and profitable many organisations rely on advertisements

Change preposition

show examples

internet

Correct article usage

the internet

show examples

, magazines and billboards.

This

Linking Words

selling method can make consumers buy unnecessary products, attracting them

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with

show examples

beautiful pictures or

appearance

Fix the agreement mistake

appearances

show examples

This

Linking Words

essay will show

good

Correct article usage

the good

show examples

and bad sides of using

this

Linking Words

method.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the main benefit of online advertising is that you are always familiar with the recent, modern goods which are popular.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it is convenient and comfortable for

people

Use synonyms

in searching

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to search

show examples

for particular items

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apply

show examples

online.

For example

Linking Words

, if you want to buy furniture, there are a lot of online adverts ,

you

Correct word choice

and you

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can find out about

this

Linking Words

product via mobile sitting

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one place. Another advantage of billboard

advert

Correct your spelling

advertising

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is that products which are on a big screen are most reliable and worthwhile because they are often controlled by government or tax agencies.

Thus

Linking Words

, it makes us clear why advertisements are effective for consumers. On the other hand,

this

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type of selling product is forcing

people

Use synonyms

consume

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to consume

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unimportant items

especially

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, especially

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parents.

For instance

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, children watch many adverts on TV about toys, sweets etc.

Then

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they make parents get them.

Also

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people

Use synonyms

often rely on the product too much which

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

advertising, but the quality of that item can be low.

Furthermore

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, adverts in magazines are not good for the ecosystem, as we know paper is made from wood in order to get them

people

Use synonyms

cut down trees

consequently

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they destroy forests. In conclusion, making profits thanks to online, paper advertisements is becoming the main tool in the business industry,

although

Linking Words

they encourage clients to buy unimportant things. Despite the disadvantages of

this

Linking Words

method

Add a comma

method,

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the advantages outweigh

drawbacks

Correct article usage

the drawbacks

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gunya_015Fri Jan 24 2020

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coherence cohesion

Improve the logical structure of the essay to enhance coherence and cohesion. Ensure that the ideas flow in a clear and organized manner, with the main points supported by relevant examples.

task achievement

Provide more comprehensive ideas and examples to fully address the task. Strengthen the organization of the essay to ensure a complete response to the prompt.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

273 words

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Companies spend millions each year on advertising online, in magazines and billboards.These adverts can encourage people to buy products that they do not really need? What are the positive and negative effects of consumerism?

Your opinion

In the advertising, businesses nowadaways usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you thinkn it is a positive or negative development?

Today, the majority of children are raised by their grandparents since their parents are busy working. To what extent do you think it affects the whole family