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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people firmly think that parents, as the first and most influential figures in a child's life, should take on the crucial responsibility of teaching
children
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 how to be good members of
society
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. Parents are with their
children
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 from the very beginning, witnessing every step of their growth. They are in a unique position to
instill
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instil
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 fundamental values and social skills in their offspring.
For example
Linking Words
, they can start by teaching basic manners at home,
such
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 as saying "please" and "thank you", which are the building blocks of good social
behavior
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behaviour
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. Through daily interactions, parents can
also
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 demonstrate the importance of respect for others, sharing, and cooperation. They can tell stories about kindness and responsibility, and guide their
children
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 to understand how these qualities contribute to a harmonious
society
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. Others,
however
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, believe that school is the ideal place for
children
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 to learn how to be good members of
society
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. Schools are microcosms of
society
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, bringing together
children
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 from diverse backgrounds. In
this
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 environment, students are exposed to a wide range of people and experiences. Teachers, who are trained in education and child development, play a key role in
this
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 process. They design curricula that include subjects like social studies and ethics, which specifically focus on teaching students about different aspects of
society
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,
such
Linking Words
 as laws, social norms, and the rights and responsibilities of citizens.
Moreover
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, school activities like group projects, sports competitions, and club activities provide opportunities for students to practice teamwork, communication, and leadership skills, all of which are essential for being a good member of
society
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.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure to include a conclusion that summarizes your opinion on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more clearly using linking words. For example, use 'firstly', 'next', and 'finally'.
task achievement
Add more examples or personal experiences to support your arguments.
task achievement
You clearly explain the role of parents in teaching social values.
task achievement
Your essay has good main points that are relevant to the topic.
task achievement
You present both sides of the argument well, showing balanced thinking.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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