Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening). Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cell #phone #security #cameras #cases #development

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In today's world, technology has influenced almost every aspect of our lives. In the 21st century, digital technologies can facilitate shopping, working and

education

Suggestion

educated

However

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, the technologies of today can easily monitor our everyday activities or

analyze

consider in detail and subject to an analysis in order to discover essential features or meaning

analyse

an individual's private

conversations

Suggestion

conversation

. While some people believe that monitoring activities are critical to ensure our security, others contend that these interferences in our everyday lives are unnecessary. Administrations around the world are responsible for the safety of their citizens. One important responsibility is

safe guarding

make safe

safeguarding

people from crime. Perhaps one of the most effective ways to ensure that criminal

behavior

manner of acting or controlling yourself

behaviour

is minimized is through surveillance. Closed Circuit Television (CCTV) can minimize crime by providing a visual record of any illegal activity.

For example

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, retail outlets closely monitor the movements of shoppers. If they detect anything suspicious, security may take action to prevent theft.

This

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is a significant deterrent to a would be thief and helps to prevent crime.

However

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, surveillance cameras have become ubiquitous in many of our cities. London is a good case in point. In

this

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city, there are over 400,000 CCTV cameras covering almost every aspect of a Londoner's daily life. It is true that the visuals from these cameras have been used to successfully prosecute criminals, but many people believe

this

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is an invasion of their privacy.

Further

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this

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, mobile telephone conversations, text messaging and email can

also

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be monitored and recorded by corporations and governments. To conclude, administrations are quick to point towards the advantages of continuing the expansion of surveillance technologies. They believe that these technologies are essential for ensuring public safety. In my opinion, there are situations where CCTV is a useful security

tool

Accept comma addition

tool, although

although

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an individual's privacy must

also

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be respected.

Submitted by paulinattmm3 on Sat Jan 25 2020

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

1. Surveillance
2. Monitoring
3. Cell phone tracking
4. Security cameras
5. Public safety
6. Law enforcement
7. Privacy concerns
8. Personal freedom
9. Autonomous
10. Breach of trust
11. Misuse of information
12. Institutional integrity
13. Psychological impact
14. Mental well-being
15. Societal trust
16. Paranoia
17. Transparency
18. Stringent regulations
19. Criminal deterrence
20. Apprehension of criminals

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