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Band 4.5

Do you agree or disagree?: "Science is better than Religion".

#science #religion
In
this
 modern era people are intelligent
enought
as much as necessary
enough
 to always see the reason behind everything
,
Accept space
,
which is not believing
blindlying
 for things we do and hear.
Incase
Suggestion
In case
 of
science
 and
religion both
Accept comma addition
religion, both
 plays
an
Suggestion
a
 gigantic excerpt
in
Suggestion
of
 our day to day life. Even if people believe in
religion
 far before than
science
Accept comma addition
science, however
however
, both have
reasonable way
Suggestion
a reasonable way
 of showing their theory.
Firstly in my
Suggestion
Firstly, in my
 point of view both
science
 and
religion
 are important in its own
way but
Accept comma addition
way, but
 in
this
 21st century
science
 is playing a greater role.
For instance
, in today's world people are very dependent on high technology like mobile, buses, metro
,
Accept space
,
internet
so on which
Accept comma addition
so on, which
soon which
 has made our working time easier with short time distance and
also
 we can gain current trend information within
second
.
Secondly
,
science
 has
also
 helped in
development
Suggestion
the development
 of our health condition.
For instance
, due to man-made destruction of
environment
Suggestion
the environment
 and wild animals it has caused huge
problems
Suggestion
Problems
 in our environment and health
such
 as currently in China there
is
Suggestion
are
wide spread
widely circulated or diffused
widespread
 of
disease
Suggestion
a disease
the disease
 called corona virus which is able to detect due to scientific development in research and hospital technologies
likewise
 till now we are able to tackle serious diseases due to our scientists and doctors.
Lastly
,
science
take
Suggestion
takes
huge excerpt
Suggestion
a huge excerpt
 in all the things
for
instance
Accept comma addition
instance, science
science
 is present in math, biology, chemical reaction, geography
,
Accept space
,
it helps to spread our knowledge to large media. It
also
 helps in developing
great relationship
Suggestion
great relationships
a great relationship
 with our
neighborhood
Suggestion
neighbouring
neighbourhood
 countries by exchanging of our goods to
develope
make something new, such as a product or a mental or artistic creation
develop
 own country.If
science
 is not present our
world must
Accept comma addition
world, must
 have not developed. To summarise,
religion
 has
help
Suggestion
helped
 us to believe in self and for mental stability
compare
Suggestion
comparable
 to that
science
 is greater as it helped us to know about
world
Suggestion
the world
 in a
second
.
Submitted by tnyidon193 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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