In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas

There is an increase in the number of people migrating from the rural areas to urban areas.The reason behind could be people searching for greener

pastures

Accept comma addition

pastures, however

however

this

can lead to land pollution in the city and increased crime rates. People are

been

the state or fact of existing

being

forced to move from their rural homes to go into the city due to the need to acquire jobs

Accept space

Apparently

Accept space

there are more prospects of finding employment in

urbarn

relating to or concerned with a city or densely populated area

urban

areas than it is at hometowns.

This

is because there are many businesses in town and

also

there are a lot of people so even if one is an

enterprenuer chances

Accept comma addition

entrepreneur, chances

entrepreneur chances

exceling

distinguish oneself

excelling

exceeding

are higher than starting a business in rural areas.A survey conducted recently stated that only a

third

of the youth population are still staying in their rural

homes

Suggestion

home

half of the majority have relocated to get a job or

further

their education.

However

Accept space

urbanisation

also

comes with drawbacks and these include increase in high crime rate.Many crimes are bound to be committed as there will be numerous individuals who are just

idle

Accept comma addition

idle, therefore

therefore

it results in young people getting involved in drug abuse and stealing

inorder

Suggestion

in order

to survive.

Moreso

Accept space

this

results in over population in the urban area which

then

leads to a decrease in the standards of living for people due to too many people demanding scarce resources. To conclude,

although

urbanisation creates employment for the young people

this

could lead to overcrowding in the cities and

also

result in high crime rates.

Submitted by su150017a on Sun Jan 26 2020

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

247 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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