IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many people assume that the goal every country should be to produce more material and goods. To what extent do you agree disagree.

#people #country #goods
A large of number masses
belive
accept as true; take to be true
believe
believed
thatbit
Suggestion
that bit
 had better if each
counrty
a politically organized body of people under a single government
country
county
 have a goal to produce more
materil
the tangible substance that goes into the makeup of a physical object
material
materials
 and goods.I
partial
Suggestion
partially
 agree with
this
 statement
,
Accept space
,
this
wassy
how something is done or how it happens
way
 would shed
lihjt
(physics) electromagnetic radiation that can produce a visual sensation
light
 on both
point
Suggestion
points
 of views. To commence with
,
Accept space
,
it is irrefutably true that the
developement
act of improving by expanding or enlarging or refining
development
 of nation
determine
Suggestion
determines
is determined
 by their gross domestic
production
Suggestion
product
 in any sector of
economy
Suggestion
the economy
such
 as tourism
,
Accept space
,
industrilization
the development of industry on an extensive scale
industrialization
industrialisation
 and education etc.
First
 and foremost
counrty
a politically organized body of people under a single government
country
county
 with high manufacturing goods and material
alway
from a particular thing or place or position
away
always
 higher
employement
the state of being employed or having a job
employment
unemployment
 rate than other nations.
for
Suggestion
For
 example
,
Accept space
,
the United State of American is
hub
Suggestion
a hub
the hub
 of
tecnology
the practical application of science to commerce or industry
technology
 sector due the
availbility
the quality of being at hand when needed
availability
 of resources there for manufacturing hardware
componets
an abstract part of something
components
.
Secodly country
Suggestion
Secondly, countries
Secondly countries
Secondly country
 with
high rate
Suggestion
a high rate
high rates
 of production have scored huge rank in
global marketing index
Suggestion
the global marketing index
a global marketing index
,
Accept space
,
due to
this
 these countries are eligible for
finacial
involving financial matters
financial
 assistance from world organisations
such
 as
world bank
Suggestion
the world bank
 to boost their productivity. On the flip side
,
Accept space
,
these kind of
developement
act of improving by expanding or enlarging or refining
development
developments
have
Suggestion
has
 few drawbacks
to
to a degree exceeding normal or proper limits
too
,
Accept space
,
intially
at the beginning
initially
 these nations should impact
environment
Suggestion
the environment
negetively
in a harmful manner
negatively
,
Accept space
,
because these countries have
large industry setup
Suggestion
a large industry setup
 which leads to more pollution and degrade the quality of air and water.To demonstrate
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
 has
recongnised
generally approved or compelling recognition
recognized
recognised
 at
first
 position for producing rice
(
Accept space
(
oriyza
sativa
)
worlwide
Accept comma addition
worldwide, although
worldwide although
world-wide although
although
india
a republic in the Asian subcontinent in southern Asia; second most populous country in the world; achieved independence from the United Kingdom in 1947
India
 for
this
 huge quantity of water required which is extracted from
ground
Suggestion
the ground
.Due to
this
 water level of ground would be
fallen
mat together and make felt-like
felt
.
Moreover
 the
also
 leads to degrade air quality due to uses of pesticides and fertilizers for producing more
yiled
be the cause or source of
yield
. In conclusion
,
Accept space
,
it
it is
it's
necessory
absolutely essential
necessary
 for every nation that they should produce more product by utilizing their resources
propery
in the right manner
properly
 but without
detirorating
become worse or disintegrate
deteriorating
deterioration
envrionment
the totality of surrounding conditions
environment
.
Submitted by drgurdeepsidhu on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: