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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graphs below show the average retirement age for men and women in 2004 and 2008 in six different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graphs below show the average retirement age for men and women in 2004 and 2008 in six different countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
The given column graphs compare the
retirement
Use synonyms
age
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 of males and females in six countries in 2004 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
retirement
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age
Use synonyms
 increased in all countries with the exception of Italy, among
men
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, and France, among
women
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, where it remained the same in the given
years
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. The Danish
men
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 and
women
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 retired at the ages of 60 and 59 respectively in 2004, but in 2008 they
both
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 retired at the
age
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 of 61. The average
age
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 of
retirement
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 for
both
Use synonyms
 genders was the lowest in France, with the
men
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 retiring at the
age
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 of 58 in 2004 and at 59 in 2008.
Women
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 retired at the
age
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 of 58 in
both
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 the given
years
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. The Italian
men
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 retired at 60
years
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 in 2004
as well as
Linking Words
 2008,
whereas
Linking Words
women
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 retired at a younger
age
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 in
both
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years
Use synonyms
 as compared to
men
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. The
age
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 of
retirement
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 for
women
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 was 58 in 2004 and 59 in 2008. A similar trend in
retirement
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 ages was seen among the Dutch, Swede and British males and females with
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 increase of one year in each case in 2008 as compared to 2004.
To conclude
Linking Words
, a striking feature of the graph is that the
retirement
Use synonyms
age
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 for
both
Use synonyms
 sexes was the highest in Sweden in comparison with all other given countries.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words retirement, age, men, women, years, both with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graphs" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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