IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is better for college students to live in schools than live at home with their parents. Do you agree or disagree?

#college #students #schools #home #parents
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There has been a question whether students should start an independent life in a dormitory on campus. Some people say it is better that way;
however
Linking Words
, my firm conviction is that it depends on the culture of the region where certain groups of students are living.
This
Linking Words
 practice is popular in Western-based societies, like the US or the UK. Independence from parents at
young age
Suggestion
a young age
 is largely accepted and encouraged, especially when students reach 18 and are able to make a living on their own. The majority of them seek a temporary job near school to gain work experience, and others might spend time participating in youth clubs and activities on campus.
This
Linking Words
 element, I think, is closely linked to their development and future success.
However
Linking Words
, in many Asian countries,
Vietnam
Accept comma addition
Vietnam, for
for example
Linking Words
, where traditional values of family bond have a significant role to play in youths’ lives and national ethos, I suspect that it would bring more harm than good. It is,
however
Linking Words
, common for family members
to live
Suggestion
live
 separately when they are pursuing tertiary education because most universities in Vietnam are located in major or municipal cities. Students from other provinces have to stay
at
Suggestion
in
 dormitory or rent a room off campus in order not to disrupt their study. I would see
this
Linking Words
 as a detrimental sign to family relationships because it would
possible
Suggestion
possibly
 lead to the sad disappearance of the country’s long-standing culture. Due to my aforementioned argument, I do not suppose living at schools away from family is always a better decision for a college student is a valid point.
Submitted by thejudgementday999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: