Some say that because many people are living much longer, the age at which people retire from work should be raised considerably. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

It appears that, in
modern
Suggestion
the modern age people
age
people are living longer
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
before; because of, improving medical science that’s why people went that
retirement
age
should be risen.
This
essay will discuss about how old people
are inspire
Suggestion
are inspired
are inspiring
the young people and value of
old
Suggestion
older
people.
Firstly
, when people are retired from
work
they feel that they are useless and
burden
Suggestion
a burden
for the
society
also
they
can not
can not
cannot
contribute anything for the country. Suppose they get
retirement
after
age
of 65 but people alive approximately 90
years so
Accept comma addition
years, so
,
rest
Suggestion
the rest
of the their life they have nothing to do that’s why they want their
retirement
age
should be rise so that, they can contribute more for the
society
and set
example
Suggestion
an example
for the young generation, that at the old-
age
, they
work
for social welfare and growth of economics
Finally
, when people retired from their
work
they are considered as an
assets
Suggestion
asset
for
Suggestion
to
of
the
society
because they already
work
hard for the
society
as well as country.
Furthermore
, they invest their valuable knowledge, energy, time for betterment of the country
economic
Suggestion
economically
. In that case,
retirement
is the award for them; so that, they can take care of their health and give
times
Suggestion
time
themselves and family
also
.
For instance
,
government
Suggestion
the government
pay
Suggestion
pays
pension, health care benefits to the retired people as
a
Suggestion
an
award for their contribution. In conclusion, I can say that, old people are the treasured for the
society
; so, in
this
case I
can not
can not
cannot
clearly say that, when they had been get retired from their jobs, it was their choice that, they want to
work
more or not.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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