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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievement and this sets a bad example to young people

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievement #sets #people
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In the modern era famous people are known for their outer appearance and money they possess than their achievement.
This
Linking Words
 results in setting a harmful example to young messes.I agree
to
Suggestion
with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 will be discuss in the forthcoming paragraphs. To commence with, the famous people show the own power and the money
,
Accept space
,
but these are bad effect to young generation individual because these people
did not known
Suggestion
didn't know
did not know
 what celebrate did so much struggle in our soul for that position and
they
of them or themselves
their
 younger individual only see the actual
life
Use synonyms
 but, it is not seeing the behind verve.
so
to a very great extent or degree
So
 these
reason
Suggestion
reasons
 its harmful to
youngest
Suggestion
young
younger
 people.
Such
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 as people adapt new fashion for seeing a celebrities doing
this
Linking Words
 brand if they people was not afraid
this
Linking Words
company product
Accept comma addition
company, product
 and other stuff
,
Accept space
,
then
Linking Words
 will be purchased because trend
,
Accept space
,
but people had not known its detrimental to youngest as long as, celebrities only promote that for give it
to
Suggestion
for
 money. Unfortunately, these people are effective for the
luxury
Suggestion
luxurious
life
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
likes name and fame than had not known its to made his
life
Use synonyms
 they did so much
hardwork
Suggestion
hard work
 and so many
time
Suggestion
times
 will
be spent to
Suggestion
be spent this
this
Linking Words
life
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 they achieved.
Otherwise
Linking Words
 young generation to not compare to yourself with celebrities. so far so,
Accept space
,
these effect to our individuals
life
Use synonyms
For exam
Linking Words
ple,people
Suggestion
celebrity's
celebrities'
celebrity
assuming a the
ir
Suggestion
the young only effect
life
Use synonyms
 with the not seeing real
life
Use synonyms
 and not to looking o
ve
Suggestion
of
r behind
life
Use synonyms
that is
Linking Words
 the injuries to youngest people To conclude,people should be known about the behind
this
Linking Words
 celebrities
life
Use synonyms
 because young only effect of actual but they read a backward
life
Use synonyms
 to famous people how to do and what to do for their achievement

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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