Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

#schools #focus #success #examinations #skills #cookery #school

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The education institution should only target academic

subjects

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and score good marks on examinations. Other than academics, extra circular

activities

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such

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as photography, software programming and much more should be taught by their family members

instead

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of teaching in the

school

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by the professors.

This

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essay disagrees with that every other non-academic skill should be only by

parents

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First,

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the

school

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should promote their

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students

Change to a genitive case

student's

students'

show examples

extra circular

activities

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, and they need to create awareness among the

children

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Second,

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parents

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as well as

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professors in the

school

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should

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their responsibility when they teach about other skills. Starting with the agreed point of view, the education system should motivate the

students

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in all the ways, which include non-academic

activities

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Furthermore

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, when the

students

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start to learn about basic life lessons from the educational institution, in future they can tackle all types of scenarios without any fear. Apart from that, a few

children

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are generally shy. So, to motivate them, the teacher is supposed to

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the benefits of the extra circular

activities

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with these kids.

Therefore

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, the

children

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can overcome the obstacles to learning about non-academic

subjects

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For example

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, these days, most multinational companies are looking for a person with various skills for various employment.

On the other hand

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, professors

as well as

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parents

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of the child should

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the responsibilities equally when it comes to academic and non-academic tasks. In the classroom, the teacher will coach their student commonly.

Hence

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, the

students

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sometimes cannot expect perfection on the task. To get that perfection on the task,

parents

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should

also

Linking Words

teach them privately to get the correct answer.

Hence

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, it will help the teacher to maintain a constant flow of the

subjects

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For instance

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, research says that most of the awards are won by the

students

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who are guided by the professor

as well as

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their

parents

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when compared to other kids. In a nutshell, the

school

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should target non-academic

activities

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also

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instead

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of spending on academic courses.

Moreover

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, teachers and

parents

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should

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the responsibilities equally to take care of the

children

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. In my opinion, the government should make non-academic

subjects

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also

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a part of mandatory

subjects

Use synonyms

Submitted by jeeveshkb22 on Thu Apr 18 2024

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Task Achievement

To enhance your score, clarify and elaborate on your examples more distinctly. Providing specific, detailed examples adds depth to your argument and illustrates your point more effectively.

Coherence & Cohesion

Work on varying your sentence structures to improve readability and engagement. Incorporating a mix of complex and simple sentences can make your essay more dynamic.

Task Achievement

To further improve, ensure that your essay addresses all aspects of the prompt clearly and thoroughly. This includes not only presenting your viewpoint but also comparing it against the opposing perspective where appropriate.

General Advice

Consider revising your essay for minor grammatical errors and typos to enhance overall clarity and professionalism. While these errors don't majorly impact your grade, they can distract from your message.

Structure

Your introduction and conclusion are effectively structured, providing a clear overview of your essay's argument and neatly summarizing your main points.

Content

You demonstrated a good understanding of the topic and presented a balanced view by discussing both the importance of non-academic subjects and the role of teachers and parents in education.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
7
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

357 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Holistic education
Well-rounded education
Practical life skills
Foster creativity
Problem-solving abilities
Socio-economic gaps
Stress relief
Balanced lifestyle
Educational readiness
Career readiness
Job market
Versatile
Engagement
Motivation
Cultural development
Personal growth

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Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodworking should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family. To that extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Today, many people do not know their neighbors in large cities. What problems does this cause? What can be done about this?

Some people think that detailed criminal description on newspapers and TV programs has bad consequence, so this kind of information should be restricted on media. To what extent do you agree?

Farmers within a country are often protected by tariffs - that is, special taxes on imported food. Such policies are necessary, and should be implemented wherever possible. To what extent do you agree with this?