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Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds
Despite the fact we are spending funds and time for the safety of
animals
 and
birds
but
Correct word choice
apply
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, I believe that we still need to
do
Verb problem
make
show examples
 a lot more effort to keep these creatures from extinction. Infect, we are known Wildlife species are one of the fundamental factors for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental sustainability.
Although
, we have been investing reasonable capital for the shelter of wildlife and endangered species.
In addition
 to
this
, different
NGO's
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NGOs
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 and departments for their preservation have been developed by the different sectors of society. Namely, my country Pakistan has taken strong steps to cope
up
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apply
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with the illegal killing of wild
animals
 and taken legal actions against the violators. Despite
of
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apply
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all these efforts, we have lost many precious species in the past
due to
 our negligence and careless attitude. Presently, there are a number of
animals
 and
birds
, endangered by
the
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apply
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human’s
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human
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 cruel behaviour.
For instance
, we are now on the verge of losing many wildlife
animals
 and
birds
such
 as white
hippopotamus
Correct your spelling
hippopotamuss
, gorillas, Californian
condor
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condors
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 etc., From the face of
earth
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the earth
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.
For example
, In
Recent
Correct article usage
the Recent
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 era, we have seen the extinction of Tasmanian tiger and dodo
birds
. They could have
saved
Add a missing verb
been saved
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 if the public
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 taken proper measures for their safety and protection.
Therefore
,
while
 concluding, I highly emphasize that societies should do more struggle in order to preserve these
animals
 and
birds
. Governments must develop stringent rules and
regulation
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regulations
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 for their preservation alongside proper law enforcement. If we
do
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are
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 not able to take proper actions for their shelter,
then
 ultimately, we may face
a
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apply
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severe environmental damage in our world that will be irreversible.

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar for improved coherence.
task achievement
Take care to fully address all aspects of the task prompt, and develop the ideas thoroughly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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