IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people think that too much attention and resources are given to the protection of wild animals and birds. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #attention #resources #protection #animals #birds
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Despite the fact we are spending funds and time for the safety of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
but
Correct word choice
apply
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, I believe that we still need to
do
Verb problem
make
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 a lot more effort to keep these creatures from extinction. Infect, we are known Wildlife species are one of the fundamental factors for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental sustainability.
Although
Linking Words
, we have been investing reasonable capital for the shelter of wildlife and endangered species.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, different
NGO's
Change noun form
NGOs
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 and departments for their preservation have been developed by the different sectors of society. Namely, my country Pakistan has taken strong steps to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
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with the illegal killing of wild
animals
Use synonyms
 and taken legal actions against the violators. Despite
of
Change preposition
apply
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all these efforts, we have lost many precious species in the past
due to
Linking Words
 our negligence and careless attitude. Presently, there are a number of
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
, endangered by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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human’s
Change noun form
human
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 cruel behaviour.
For instance
Linking Words
, we are now on the verge of losing many wildlife
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as white
hippopotamus
Correct your spelling
hippopotamuss
, gorillas, Californian
condor
Fix the agreement mistake
condors
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 etc., From the face of
earth
Add an article
the earth
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.
For example
Linking Words
, In
Recent
Correct article usage
the Recent
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 era, we have seen the extinction of Tasmanian tiger and dodo
birds
Use synonyms
. They could have
saved
Add a missing verb
been saved
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 if the public
has
Wrong verb form
had
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 taken proper measures for their safety and protection.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 concluding, I highly emphasize that societies should do more struggle in order to preserve these
animals
Use synonyms
 and
birds
Use synonyms
. Governments must develop stringent rules and
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
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 for their preservation alongside proper law enforcement. If we
do
Change the verb
are
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 not able to take proper actions for their shelter,
then
Linking Words
 ultimately, we may face
a
Remove the article
apply
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severe environmental damage in our world that will be irreversible.

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coherence cohesion
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar for improved coherence.
task achievement
Take care to fully address all aspects of the task prompt, and develop the ideas thoroughly.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecological balance
  • species extinction
  • wildlife conservation
  • sustainable development
  • ecosystem services
  • habitat destruction
  • endangered species
  • conservation efforts
  • natural heritage
  • human encroachment
  • poaching
  • genetic diversity
  • climate change
  • environmental stewardship
  • protection measures
  • wildlife sanctuary
  • biological significance
  • conservation biology
  • environmental advocacy
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