IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Discuss the reasons why people define happiness differently and how to obtain happiness

#people #happiness
There are several reasons why it is not easy to define
happiness
.
Firstly
,
happiness
 is an internal feeling and people have different definitions for it based on their own situations.
For instance
, for some people, money brings
happiness
, while for some others, having a decent job or a high salary is only a way of meeting some basic requirements that every human has.
Secondly
, in different societies, people define it differently.
This
 can be associated with the cultural views that individuals in various countries have.
For example
, in my country, depending on the region one lives, the definition differs. If somebody lives in major cities,
high
Suggestion
higher
 education is very prestigious and those who are highly-educated are
quiet
to a degree (not used with a negative)
quite
 happy.
However
, in small towns or villages, building a family and having kids or having a property like a big house is an enormous achievement and bring
happiness
 to people’s life for people. Many
factors including
Accept comma addition
factors, including
 wealth, a high-income career, physical and mental health, beauty, a romantic relationship and a high university degree play important roles in obtaining
happiness
. But it is worth mentioning that the most important element is
satisfaction
Suggestion
satisfied
. If a person has all of these factors and not yet contented with his or her
valueslife
Suggestion
values life
, he or she will not be able to experience the feeling of
pleasurehappiness
. There are some people that are always complaining even if they have everything.
In other words
, in order to have a happy life, what really matters is the way that we see life. In fact, the sense of gratification can make us happy. In conclusion, it is true that
happiness
 is a difficult
conceptterm
Suggestion
concept term
 to be clearly defined, since people have different points of views about it.
However
, I believe that if we are satisfied with what we have, we can experience it.
Submitted by thejudgementday999 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: