IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The range of technology available to people is increasing the gap between the rich and the poor. Other think it has an opposite effect. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#range #technology #people #gap #effect
The innovation of the technology has been the highly debated topic since a decade. Some believe that numerous option among the electronic devices has raised the
difference
 in between impoverished and wealthy civilian. Whereas, the rest of the folks argue that it has decreased the
difference
.
Firstly
,
this
 essay will discuss the reason behind the thought of increasing the diversity and reason behind declining the same.
Lastly
, state the opinion in the favour of making equal status among the civilian. On the one hand, the main reason behind the social status is the capacity to buy a latest electronic
device
. The wealthy folks have more money and tend to be eager to show off their strong financial status to the world.
As a result
, there is a clear line formed in between the impoverished and wealthy people as wealthy folks have the branded gadgets.
For example
, according to the apple company of the USA report, 70% buyer of the apple appliances belonged to the wealthy family as they can able to buy those expensive appliances.
On the other hand
, except for the renowned companies, many other offers the same
device
 at a reasonable price.
Consequently
, all classes of people are able to buy those gadgets. Because, those gadgets are in the excellent design and fundamental functions to use it.
Thus
, no one can distinguish the
difference
 between the people who have the same
device
.
For instance
, as per the user data of the mobile phone offices, there are almost 95% of the people have the electronic
device
 due to the availability of more options in it. From my point of view, I believed, nowadays, just having a appliances, no one can identify whether the other person is from a wealthy family or poor. Due to having branded a phone with the impoverished people as well. In conclusion, having a latest
device
 does not mean that the person is wealthy as now everyone has the range of new technology at their home.
However
, to identify the
difference
 between poor and rich person, the best is the bank statement and their living style.
Submitted by drsefalipatel on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: