Telivision has diminished the free time of people.It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. Do you agree or disagree?

#telivision #time #people

Telivision

Suggestion

Television

is a great source of entertainment if watched for

limited

Suggestion

a limited time

time

However

, people are becoming addicted to

telivision

broadcasting visual images of stationary or moving objects

television

in their spare

time which

Accept comma addition

time, which

is the reason for making them more lethargic and isolated from social life. I strongly agree with

this

viewpoint. Most importantly, screens have taken over all the free

time

, which was earlier utilized for playing sports and doing physical exercise. Masses spend

most

Suggestion

more time

time

sitting in front of

telivision

Suggestion

the television

television

televisions

, doing no physical activity.

Thus

, it disturbs their normal development of

body

Suggestion

the body

which gives them a feeling of tired the whole

time

Moreover

, bright screens have adverse effects on

eyes

Suggestion

the eyes

. Watching

telivision

broadcasting visual images of stationary or moving objects

television

makes them feel sleepy and lazy due to heavy concentration with eyes for extended hours.

In addition

to these points, there is no

time

left behind for any social gatherings and communication. Not only the outside social life, people cannot spare

time

to connect with their own family members because of the addiction of different

telivision

broadcasting visual images of stationary or moving objects

television

shows.

For example

, in my childhood, we all neighbours used to gather in street before dinner and spend

time

with each other. But everyone is watching

telivision

broadcasting visual images of stationary or moving objects

television

televisions

in their home nowadays. Considering all the points mentioned above, I conclude that

telivision

broadcasting visual images of stationary or moving objects

television

has

shrinked

decrease in size, range, or extent

shrunk

the spare

time resulting

Accept comma addition

time, resulting

in passive nature and socially detached behaviour of people.

Wed Jan 29 2020

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
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Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

217 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Telivision has diminished the free time of people.It can make people lazy and not socialize with others. Do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

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Shopping is one of the most popular leisure activities among young people What is the reason for this? Can you think of other free time activities young people might enjoy?