Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people

It has been commonly debated that in recent years celebrities become popular due to their glory, lavish lifestyle in comparison with accomplishments .I a

Accept space

ee with

this

statement that some famous people have a detrimental impact on youngsters, whilst I consider that the others set positive precedent. On the one hand adults always watch TV and observe famous people as a exa

Suggestion

ple

therefore

they try to be like celebrities because of their succe

sful and

having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome

successful

luxurious lives .

Thu

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they avoi

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Thus, they

d to work hard and would rather to be prominent which is possible through social media easily and

thus

this

effec

ts thei

the conscious subjective aspect of feeling or emotion

affects

r job prospects in a negative way.

This

can be prima

ry example that, mos

Suggestion

the primary example, that

the primary example that

a primary example that

t of time well known people lead to hedon

sitic life

devoted to pleasure

hedonistic

style which demerits are inevitable for young generation and sometimes they indicate their posses which adults compare with thems

elves and

belonging to them

theirs

causes stressful and demot

ivatioanal life

Suggestion

Life

On the other hand

, young people suffer from failure and give up on everything,

howev

er sometimes when

Accept comma addition

however, sometimes

prominent people talk about their success

also

present their failures which become motiv

atioanal stimulus for

Suggestion

a motivational stimulus

motivational stimulus

the motivational stimulus

motivational stimuli

their aims .

Thu

Accept space

most of t

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Thus, most

ime their succe

s stor

an event that accomplishes its intended purpose

success

ies might be fille

d ensthusiasm beca

Suggestion

filled with enthusiasm

filled enthusiasm

use of striving to reach targets which is th

Suggestion

are

most essan

tial step

absolutely necessary; vitally necessary

essential

for trium

a successful ending of a struggle or contest

triumph

For instance

, adults look at the bright side and continue to struggle for their achievements due to some celeb

rities' succ

Suggestion

celebrity

ess stories which play role model in their life. Taking eveyt

hing into

all things

everything

consideration, celebrities might be bad r

ole model,

Suggestion

a bad role model

however

their

grea

Suggestion

they're

t succe

sful expe

having succeeded or being marked by a favorable outcome

successful

riences influence adults in a posti

ve way.

characterized by or displaying affirmation or acceptance or certainty etc.

positive

I recommend

thus

every teenager has to take an example some well-known individuals for their life path and to be ambitious for their future aims

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

277 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

glamour
wealth
achievements
portrayed
overshadow
influenced
lifestyles
unrealistic
expectations
values
promoting
hard work
perseverance
inspire
positive impact

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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people say that what individuals do to protect cannot make difference, others say that individuals can protect environment. Discuss both these view and give your opinion.

Nowadays people prefer to shop in large supermarkets rather than nearby local shops, why do you think this is happening?is this a positive or negative trend

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

in many countries around the world ,rural people are moving to cities,so the population in the countryside is decreasing. do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal . Some people , however , think that other types of progress are equally important for a country . Discuss both these views and give your own opinion ?