At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do you think that the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

There are many countries undergoing the period of young population nowadays. Even though that situation could bring some drawbacks in the future, I believe that the benefits it offers to the present are more prominent. On the one hand, a huge number of young adults will radically boost the domestic economy. If the national population is too old, the economy of that country will run into serious problems since the native workforce will be insufficient to undertake every position. Japan,
for instance
, is facing with the lack of workers because of the ageing population,
therefore
the
government
must employ
laborers
someone who works with their hands; someone engaged in manual labor
labourers
from other countries. It comes as no shock that the money those people earn will be taken to their home country rather than the adopted one.
Besides
, since children and retirees are unable to serve as the soldiers,
strength
Suggestion
the strength
of the military bases considerably
on
Suggestion
in
the numbers of adults. Having many people
at
Suggestion
of
working age indicates that the country has a powerful military on some points.
On the other hand
, a large number of young adults are predicted to put the authorities under the future economic pressure because
this
enormous generation, sooner or later, will retire and at that time they will be deemed burdens of the society. Those people need pension and health services
such
as hospitals and retirement houses, which costs a massive amount of money from the
government
.
However
,
this
problem might be solved if the
government
could take advantage of the taxes and insurances which senior citizens paid in the past or apply other methods.
For example
, Vietnam’s
government
accelerated working age, which substantially decreased the numbers of retirees and the money should have spent on them. In conclusion, a great deal of young adult has its pros and cons,
however
, from my point of view the former might outweigh the latter.
Submitted by khacminh1904hy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographic composition
  • economic dynamism
  • dependency ratio
  • social services
  • pension systems
  • technological adeptness
  • innovative workforce
  • national savings
  • educational demand
  • employment opportunities
  • crime rates
  • economic disparity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: