Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters ( such as food, clothes, and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is important for children to make decision about matter that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

People hold different views about whether or not children should be permitted to decide every matter that are relevant to them. From my point of view, it is essential for youngsters
to make
Suggestion
make
their own choices but under surveillance of adults. On the one hand, giving children the right to make their own decisions on
what
Suggestion
what's
involved them will enhance their independence and confidence. Since the world is inexorably changing, the parents’ thought is not always proper to their children. Forcing the young to observe every regular might put them under great pressure, which deprives them of being themselves.
For instance
, there are an enormous number of gay
boy
Suggestion
boys
in my country suffering serious depression as they have to hide their characteristics. In comparisons with the boy who are accepted, those boys are less confident and constant.
On the other hand
, the parents need to introduce their offspring what is beneficial as they are usually
misled
Suggestion
misleading
by the things around them. There is likelihood that youngsters might be tainted when they are allowed to do whatever they want. Video games,
for example
, are deemed highly addictive from which parents need to prevent their children unless they will ruin the children’s health and make them indifferent to other people. Another example is
candy
Suggestion
the candy
, if
parent
Suggestion
the parent
do not restrict
Suggestion
does not restrict
it, children could consume a massive amount of sugar, which causes obesity and other diseases. In conclusion, I will not take issue with allowing children to make decisions about their own matters,
however adults
Accept comma addition
however, adults
should be the guide who
show
Suggestion
shows
the young what is beneficial to them.
Submitted by khacminh1904hy on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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