The growing number if overweight people is putting a burden on the healthcare system in an efforts to deal with the issues involved. Some people think that the best way to solve this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#people #burden #healthcare #system #efforts #education #lessons #school #curriculum

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

increasing number

Suggestion

an increasing number

increasing numbers

of people are

concern

Suggestion

concerned

about their health.

However

Linking Words

, to deal with

this

Linking Words

issue, obesity is creating

burden

Suggestion

a burden

on the system or

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

. Some people opine that

school

Use synonyms

activities should

also

Linking Words

include sports problem. I agree that raising

awerness

having knowledge of

awareness

during

school

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

will help students in their future. During

school

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

, including sports and lessons related to physical

awerness

having knowledge of

awareness

would certainly create

habit

Suggestion

habits

of being healthy in their daily life.

In other words

Linking Words

, students will get to know the benefits of staying fit and would encourage them to do exercise. It would help them to stay healthy physically as well as mentally. A recent

healthcare

Suggestion

health care

system mentioned that in today's

time

Use synonyms

, many countries started doing yoga and other exercise in order to get rid of anxiety and stress.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, if Scholl curriculum will give physical education, the consumption of unhealthy food will certainly decrease.

In other words

Linking Words

, knowing the harm for the body, people will start taking nutritious food in order to stay healthy.

However

Linking Words

, lack of knowledge regarding diet plan might create

adverse effect

Suggestion

an adverse effect

For example

Linking Words

, if dietitian will not add proteins and vitamins in diet

chart it

Accept comma addition

chart, it

would affect people in their future. To conclude, raising

awerness

having knowledge of

awareness

about physical health during

school

Use synonyms

time

Use synonyms

would encourage students to stay healthy and fit

from

Suggestion

for

their young age.

However

Linking Words

, proper knowledge is essential in order to not create negative impact physically.

Submitted by koralpanchal82 on Thu Jan 30 2020

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

232 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
It is common to see people focused on their phones everywhere from home to public places and in almost every activity in their lives. Many people think that this phenomenon is understandable in this technologicial era while others are concerned about its negative effects in different aspects. Which opinion do you agree with?
Most people believe that the majority of individuals perceive excessive smartphone usage as a common occurrence. However, there is a more persuasive argument that these devices will have a detrimental impact on productivity, social relationships and mental health.
4.5
band
In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?
Pupils’ actions lead to numerous issues in different part of the world. This is a serious problem because it affects speed of the development level of the countries. This essay will consider the main causes of students’ tendency, before proposing two possible solutions.
5
band
These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
It is true that many kids these days tend to spend more time playing computer games than doing sports. This kind of tendency is caused by some factors. In my view, this trend is a negative development for this society.
6
band
Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is true that medicines and other products are routinely tested on animals before they are cleared for human use. While I tend towards the viewpoint that animal testing is morally wrong, I would have to support a limited amount of animal experimentation for the development of medicines.
4.5
band
Write about the following topic: Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.
Nowadays, people tend to like buying things with a proper packaging. Subsequently, the packaging that produced thousands in a day might need layers of plastic. However, it is agreed that plastic ranked as the most rubbish in the world due to its long period to subside. Hence, the over-consumption of plastic is threatening the state of healthy environment globally, resulting a crisis that must be tackle immediately.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries have severe problems with students behavior. what do you this are the cause of this? what solution can you suggest?

These days many kids spend a lot of their time playing computer games instead of doing sports. What is the cause of this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?