IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You are a teacher at a secondary school (high school). You have been asked to arrange a visit to a local museum or tourist attraction for some of your students. Write a letter to the manager of the museum or tourist attraction. In your letter you should: say who you are and which school you teach at? say why the school would like the students to visit the museum/attraction? ask about educational facilities or information that the museum/attraction can provide?

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Dear Sir/Madam I am writing
you
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to you
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 from Willington High School in Hood Street, merely near
to
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apply
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your area, and would like to ask
some
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for some
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 information about your museum. I am
the
Correct article usage
a
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 teacher of Arts and my own specific major is painting. We have almost 200
students
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which
Correct word choice
and
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 within a poll 40 of them confirmed their interest to start painting as a course. As far as I checked through websites, you have a huge
collections
Correct the article-noun agreement
collection
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 of different paintings that can be quite fascinating for our mentioned art
students
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 to view,
therefore
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 it will be appreciated if you let me know
wether
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whether
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 you have a one-day educational tour for
such
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 pupils who can learn about the history and different methods of painting
while
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 they are enjoying visiting the museum as well.
Also
Linking Words
 if you can clarify
about
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apply
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the special payment rates for
students
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 especially when they are coming in groups of around 40, that would be quite delightful. I will be extremely grateful if you
were
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are
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 interested
to answer
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in answering
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 my letter in
couple
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a couple
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 of days, and
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accordingly
Add a comma
accordingly,
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 our
students
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 can embark
their
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on their
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 artistic tour as soon as possible. I look forward
for
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to
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 your prompt reply Yours faithfully Abraham Streeter

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and purpose, though your letter is generally well organized.
task achievement
To enhance task response, you might consider adding specific questions about the educational facilities or specifics of the painting collections the museum offers.
tone
A polite and formal tone suitable for the purpose of the letter.
structure
Good structure and organization with clear paragraphs.
closing
Effective closing that anticipates a prompt response, reinforcing the purpose of the letter.
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