Today children spend a lot of their free time watching TV. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of this practice? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In recent years, watching
television
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has become an integral part of modern life, bringing both benefits and challenges.
While
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some argue that spending several
hours
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on
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apply
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watching
television
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has some
advanatges
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advantages
,
other
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others
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believe it creates significant drawbacks.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before concluding with a balanced view.
One
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On
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the one hand, one major advantage of utilising leisure time on
television
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is that it serves as a
mean
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means
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of entertainment for
children
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, leading to improved knowledge of different aspects.
For instance
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, educational, informative and technological programmes on
television
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allows
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allow
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individuals to enhance their knowledge, making everyday tasks more efficient. Another benefit is spending time with family, which contributes to
create
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creating
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memorable events.
As a result
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, many people experience improvement in their
overall
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quality of life. Despite the benefits, watching
television
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for longer
hours
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also
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has its drawbacks. A key issue is a detrimental impact on the mental health of
children
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, which can lead to
lessen
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a lessening of
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their ability
of thinking
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to think
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.
For instance
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, a study found that
children
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who are watching Coco Melon show on
television
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for more
hours
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,
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apply
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are taking speech therapies as they always intimate those animated characters. Another disadvantage is
on
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apply
show examples
their
eye sight
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eyesight
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, as it may cause their eye health and weaken their eyesight, creating long-term problems for
children
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and their parents. These issues highlight the need for putting restrictions on watching time to minimize negative effects. In conclusion,
while
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watching
television
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for more
hours
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offers significant benefits,
but
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apply
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I opine its drawbacks, including poor mental health and weak eye-sight, are far more indispensable and should not be ignored. Ultimately, careful management of
television
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program
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programs
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is essential to
ennsure
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ensure
sustainable progress.

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction clearly states your position on the advantages and disadvantages right from the beginning for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid using phrases like 'One the one hand' and instead use 'On the one hand' for grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples and explain their relevance to strengthen your main points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your conclusion does not contain unnecessary words like 'but' since it should summarize the discussion instead of introducing new ideas.
content
Your essay presents a balanced view of the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.
content
You made a strong point about the potential negative impact on mental health and eyesight, which is relevant and thought-provoking.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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