Children nowadays spend a great deal of time watching television. However,television cannot replace the book as a learning tool which is why children are less well educated today .to what extent do you agree with that statement

#children #time #television #book #tool

this

modern era, children are involved more in

technology

television

, mobile phones and other visual aids,

instead

of books. Some people consider

this

as the root cause of increasing lack of moral values and education among youngsters. I

am partially agree

Suggestion

partially agree

have partially agreed

with

this

statement, in the

further

paragraphs, I am going to discuss both the pros and cons, of both

technology

and books. Nowadays

Accept space

with the enhancement in devices people

temptu

a model or standard for making comparisons

template

word more fascinating things that give the information and entertainment at the same time,

such

as,

television

and computers.

Suggestion

With

the demand of time, schools

also

adaptations concept and have start smart classes.

Consequently

, children become

habitually

Suggestion

a habit

habit

the habit

habits

of using these audiovisual equipments.

Moreover

, in today's time

television

the most cheaper

Suggestion

the cheapest

source of education,

one

can easily avail knowledge about science

technology

and political activities. There are some special channels

also

available for

youngster

Suggestion

youngsters

the youngster

such

as, Discovery, history TV 18, and Discovery

kids

a young person of either sex

Kids

. In contrary, the traditional way of teaching,

somehow have

Accept comma addition

somehow, have

many benefits for students, by books.

books

Suggestion

The books

Books

contain a lot of moral stories related to everyone's day to day life, in from the very beginning

one

tend to read them.

Further

, books arouse the breathing habit

that is

essential for child's overall development.

Furthermore

one

can become more concentrated by reading books. Even

Accept space

books are the lifelong source of knowledge,

one

has not

worry

Suggestion

worried

about any kind of technical glitches. In conclusion, being a student of a literature, I am not going to deny the significance of both books and

technology

but

Suggestion

But

somehow books teach us moral values and about social life more than

television

.I personally feel a kind of connectivity with

books but

Accept comma addition

books, but

television

gives me knowledge about the whole world.

Submitted by riyapacharriya on Fri Jan 31 2020

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

283 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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