IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that modern technology is increasing the gap between rich and poor people. While others disagree .Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #technology #gap
Since the advent of modern technology occurred
,
Accept space
,
 living is getting easier these days. But, because of
this
, people of lower income and higher income get isolated from each other what causes a distance in their
life styles
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyles
, according to some while others disagree with that statement. In my opinion, it is obvious that modern technology has become a part and parcel of our daily
life
.
In contrast
, for people who live under poverty line can not get on with
technologies
Suggestion
the technologies
,
consequently
, a gapping line falls between
two groups
Suggestion
the two groups
. Despite living in a contemporary era, some people
can not
can not
cannot
 get used to with modern
life styles
a manner of living that reflects the person's values and attitudes
lifestyles
 based on automated machines.
For example
, in an economic survey, in
asian
a native or inhabitant of Asia
Asian
 countries about 20% people are living under
poverty line
Suggestion
the poverty line
 who are not acquainted with modern electrical devices. Because they
can not
can not
cannot
 afford the expensive machines to use in their
life
Accept comma addition
life, such
such
, kitchen appliances, television, refrigerator etc.
which
Suggestion
Which
 are generally costly for them to bear even those are responsible for
huge electricity consumption
Suggestion
the huge electricity consumption
 literally impossible for them to maintain.
However
, others believe that modern technology brings closer all people regardless of their financial status.
For example
, in every corner, the modern network operators have been reached to provide best services to every stages of users.
Moreover
, they are given reasonable smartphones with many facilities
such
 internet what made possible to be
converged
Suggestion
converging
 on a same platform which reduces the distances between all poor and rich. In conclusion, technologies are blessings for making our
life
 comfortable.
Although
 some may not afford to buy expensive stuffs which might create discrimination, most cases all people are privileged by modern technologies which would have not been possible without innovations.
Submitted by pes2018hasib on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • socio-economic status
  • wealth inequality
  • infrastructure
  • tech-enhanced learning
  • automate
  • low-skill jobs
  • digital platforms
  • mobile banking
  • financial services
  • e-commerce
  • democratizing
  • marginalized
  • public-private partnerships
  • digital literacy
  • social entrepreneurs
What to do next:
Look at other essays: