The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
the bar chart illustrates the
overall
number of
minutes
of telephone calls which
separated
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are separated
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into three different groups local fixed
line
, national and international fixed
line
and mobile in
uk
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UK
Uk
in between 1995 to 2002.
Overall
, local fixed
line
calls increased slightly but after a
chartain
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certain
time
Add a comma
,time
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it was fallen slowly,
while
national and
internaltional
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international
fixed
line
and mobile calls rose
dramaticaly
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dramatically
throughout the
period
. how ever
at the end
of
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
time
period
national and international calls recorded the highest number of
minutes
of telephone calls
than
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apply
show examples
throughout the
period
. in 1995 the lowest
telephone
Correct quantifier usage
number of telephone
show examples
calls made by mobiles and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was about 3billions of
minutes
but there was
slight
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a slight
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incriese
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increase
untill
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until
1999 and
form
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from
show examples
1999 to 2002, there
was
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were
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signignificant
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significant
changes
happend
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happened
happen
upto 45billions,
while
natioanl
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national
and international calls rose
dramaticaly
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dramatically
all over the
period
form
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from
show examples
1995 to 2002 about 39
billions
to 60
billions
of
minutes
respectively. On the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
other hand, local fixed
line
calls
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
the
hinghest
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highest
among all these three
catagories
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categories
by all over the
time
period
. in 1995 it was 72
billions
Change to singular
billion
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and it increased slightly upto 90billions in the
rtyear
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year
rear
of 1999 but after 1999 it started to fall
untill
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until
2002, which became almost
at
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apply
show examples
the same number of
minutes
as it was at the
beaganing
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beginning
of the
time
period
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, line, time, period, billions with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "fall" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "dramatic" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
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