Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old.

#people #children #school #home #six #seven #years

Young children

have becoming

Suggestion

are becoming

have been becoming

were becoming

lazy day by day in

this

contemporary era;

therefore

, they avoid to attain

school

Although

some people opine that children should

attained

Suggestion

attain

expresses position, direction or location, or point in time

school

everyday

Suggestion

every day

, while others believe that

school

give

permission to children

Suggestion

children permission to

stay at

hime

where you live at a particular time

home

and play till they are six or seven years old. I completely agree with children must be

Suggestion

going

school

daily when they are young for several reasons, as describe in below paragraphs. At the onset, an

education

is a need of an hour for every

children

Suggestion

child

this

modern time. Some parents

stric

rigidly accurate; allowing no deviation from a standard

strict

stick

strike

for their child's

attaindance

the act of being present (at a meeting or event etc.)

attendance

in the

school

First

and foremost paramount reason is it creates a positive habit in the

childrens'

Suggestion

child's

children

mind to go

school

everyday. If students do not go to

school

some time, it creates nasty impact on them

;

Accept space

;

as a result

, they can try to avoid to go

school

. According to my own experience, when I was studying in

first standard

Suggestion

the first standard

, I went to

school

daily and I addicted to the

school

;

therefore

, I learned from that how to live with discipline in our life? On the flip side of

coin

Suggestion

the coin

, six to seven years is a perfect age of starting to take an

education

and

this

age creates all habits of our entire life. If students do not go to

school

, they are playing games at home and they will not

focused

Suggestion

focus

Suggestion

their academic career.

For example

, my friend, who is handsome, did not go to

school

and played cricket when he is six

year

Suggestion

years

old;

therefore

, he is not

interesting

Suggestion

interested

in an

education

recently. In conclusion, an

education

important segment

Suggestion

an important segment

in human's life.

This

essay discussed why young children go to

school

compulsory and the do not stay at home and play games. Children will get more profits from

attain

Suggestion

attaining

school

regularly rather than bunk in

school

in their primary

education

level.

Submitted by chiragpatel123.1556 on Fri Jan 31 2020

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Others, however, believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven years old.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The most important of science should be to improve people's lives. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?.

Directors of large organisations receive much higher salaries than ordinary workers. Some think it is necessary, while others think it is unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You have bought some clothing online and are not satisfied with your purchase. Write a letter to the company that you bought the clothing from. In your email •Give details of your purchase •Describe the problem •Explain why you need a replacement urgently

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that to benefit the development of a child, the mother and father should take parenting classes. To what extent you agree or disagree with this statement?