IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing ( For example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras ). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development
Although
 the agriculture sector has already seen many technological developments, many (a number of) people over the universe are suffering starvation. The main cause of
this
 problem is overpopulation and the most viable solution is to educate them about the danger of overpopulation. The principle cause associated with having more people than the earth deserving.
That is
 to say, lend for the cultivation of food is constant, but the people of the earth are increasing dramatically. The fixed landing of agriculture may not be sufficient for growing people. The result of
this
 creates an imbalance between the supply of food and the demand for human.
For example
, a survey in BBC news found that within 2040 the people of the world will be doubled, which may not fulfil the demand for food and the world will fall into difficult situations and might find an alternative way to meet demand. A long term solution to
this
 predicament is to educate young adults about the dangers of excessive people. Adults in universities could be taught how to control the population so that the
next
 generation could not suffer from a similar kind of situation. Students can teach their parents and they may
also
 be aware of
this
 issue.
Such
 kind of initiatives may impact the whole world and
this
 will help to come out from that dangerous condition.
For example
, China’s government makes a law that each married couple may not take over one child to control their population. In conclusion,
instead
 of the development of technology in the agriculture sector, many people are suffering from meal because of the increase of population,
therefore
, the government should educate them by providing more campaign in the public and may set a law that not take more children.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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