IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Many modern children spend a great deal of time sitting in front of a television or computer screen. This is extremely harmful to their development. Therefore, parents should strictly limit the time that children spend in this way. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #time #front #television #computer #screen #development #parents #limit
It is generally accepted that spending too much
time
 in front if
TV
 harms children’s development.
Therefore
, in my opinion, parents should, by all means, limit their
children's’
a young person of either sex
children
TV
 and
computer
 screen
time
, especially while they are younger. Watching
TV
 or using a
computer
 can be addictive, even for adults. Parents must prevent their children from developing bad habits, like spending a lot of their
time
 in front of the
TV
, early on. Not only should parents strictly limit their
children's'
Suggestion
child's
children
children's
 screen
time
, but they
also
 need to be role models. Certainly, younger children will need more guidance, while teenagers can be given more responsibility in how they spend their
time
.
Moreover
, watching
TV
 is a passive way to spend
time
 with no social interaction. While
this
 point is not so much about computers, physical exercise and playing with other children are essential activities for healthy development. Spending a lot of
time
 in front of a
computer
 or
TV
 screens limit’s a child
time
 for
such
 activities. Especially younger children
can not
can not
cannot
 concentrate for an extended
time
 span without breaks. Watching
TV
 or playing
computer
 games for many hours can hurt their ability to concentrate on their homework or a book later on. So even if the content watched is age adequate and educational watching it for too long can be harmful for a child. All things considered, there are many reasons why parents are well-advised to monitor their
childrens’
a young person of either sex
children
 use of
TV
 and computers closely. Especially younger children should be guided to spend their
time
 inactive and healthy ways.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: